Story #6 : Fred, the Power Pointer

Fred, the Power Pointer

By The Power Pointer Brothers

Fred, the son of William and Julie Craigo, was an Amonorg. An Amonorg is a small creature the size of a mouse to us humans. They look a lot like us, just with rather large heads and a long pointed face. Fred was a larger Amonorg. He looked like a tennis ball with legs. He went on a long journey with a man named Josh. They were involved with the Great War of Oswasso. In his journey, his friend Josh turned to a dark path which nobody could follow. Fred tried hard to turn Josh's heart back to a brighter one. While he tried to change Josh, he was infected by the dark and was slowly changing. But, in the end, Josh's heart was changed, and he left as spirit. Fred then became great,as an Arignot. His new journey was to establish peace where it was needed. His first attempt would be at the planet Ponderus. There where jungles all over the planet, and it had many rivers of flowing water, fresh water. It was the only planet that humans could live on in the galaxy. There was a city called, Ori, a city of many people searching for the great noble cause, to become gods. They were failing at this, they fought others and killed those who did not believe in what they did. Fred's assignment, teach the people the correct way to become gods.
Fred chose to show himself in a male human form. This required him to use a substantial amount of energy, so it made him faint. When he woke up he was in a jungle, naked, for a few seconds he forgot who and where he was. When he remembered who he was, he created clothing out of things he found in the jungle. He was five miles north of Ori. He realized that we was back to his small Amonorg form. He did not understand this. It took him many decades to learn how to change form. He forgot how to change form, since he had woken up. He walked to what he thought was north, in search of the city. He had never been on thins planet. There were two suns which each had their own orbit. This planet was literally the center of the universe, everything revolved around it. Because it was the center of the universe, there was an immense gravity pulling every way. This made it difficult to walk.
He found his way to a small clearing. He looked up at the sun. "Where is north? Is there even a north here?" Said Fred. He was disoriented. He stood in the center of the clearing and looked all around. He tried to spot something that he would recognise. He found something. He chose a direction and started walking.
He entered a very thick part of the forest. The trees and other plants were so thick that he walked sideways and squose through the plants. He had to climb up trees to be able to pass the larger rocks. As he took a break on a branch, a large dart hit next to him. It looked like it was made by some sort of native. While Fred was distracted, he heard a twig snap. He turned to see what it was. There was a large dark blue figure that grabbed him and placed him in a pouch.
He tried to adjust his eyes so he could see where he was. He started to see edges of what looked like a shrunken head. Ten minutes later he started to hear a bunch of cheering. "Oaha! Yo dude, ya found zeh Borg? Oh man!" A voice called.
He was taken out and plopped down on a table. He rolled over on his back to see what was happening. He could see a large canopy of people overhead. They were the natives. He was terrified. A short man pushed people out of the way, so he could see Fred. He had a large amount of face paint on him. "Oooh. Yo man," The man said. He was the tribe leader. He put his index finger up his nose. He cranked it around, as if he were trying to tear it off. He retrieved the finger and rubbed it on Fred's chest.
"Aaaah! Oh, why on earth, you infidel!" Fred yelled.
The crowd got really excited and started to jump up and down. The leader calmed everyone down. "Shu shush!" He started, "You speaken engwish?"
"Yes," Fred said.
"Oh, yo be good sir with us. We, choose you friend in us." He put his hand over his chest, and gave a short bow.
Fred took a look around the room at the villagers. He could tell they were not cannibals. "Do you know where the city Ori is?"
"Uuuh! You seek teh land of Orie. They no be as us. You go dere and detray us. No!" He said.
All of a sudden, Fred felt his body change. His legs and arms stretched, his back stretched and he changed into a male human. The villagers were freighted. The leader exclaimed, "Evil!!! Bad JU-JU!"
"Don't be frightened. It is still me, Fred." replied Fred as he sat up. "I am here to help. I'm here to teach the Orians about peace."
The villagers heard this and they prepared for war with the Orians. The leader said "Lets go!"
"Why are you doing that? I'm here to stop them from killing others." explained Fred.
"Peace, be fight ,YA!" replied the leader.
"No, peace means not fighting. War means killing others. Why do you know the word, peace as fighting?"
"The great Momagomi, said so!"
"Tell us the story, Joshyah!" said on of the men while looking at the leader.
"I shall, but I will at the tribal show tonight! But we we must show Fred Mateing!" said Joshyah.
"What is mating? I hope you don't mean make little versions of yourselves?" asked Fred.
"You will find out!" yelled Joshyah, "Let the Mateing begin!"
All of the adults formed two sides, one consisting of all females, the other of all the males. The male team spilt in half. Then a ball was brought out, clearly Mateing, it was a sport for the people of the village. The two male teams fought for control of the ball. When on of them got the ball over a certain line, he was excused from the game, and choose one of the females and took her away from the rest. Each set of male and female did not return from the jungle for at least twenty minutes. Fred, though he had an idea of what was happening away from the field the game was played on.
"Now, I will tell the story of Momagomi, " said Joshyah after the game was finished and food was brought out, along with musicians, each with his own instrument with many strings. "The story takes place many years ago," Fred was astonished that he was able to speak English perfectly. "Years ago in a far off land. The people of the Ori and our people were one people. We were called the Biologyasos. We were a happy people, one in harmony. But, there was a time when there was a controversy between the Yashooni, chief, and the people. Usually the people follow the chief no matter what he says. But, this time was different. A person came up with his idea and talked to the chief. His name was Dooanta. Dooanta met with Yashooni and told him the other idea. They argued for several minutes. Dooanta got kicked out and lost his home and job. He had no idea what to do. He gathered a group of people to rebel against Yashooni. After a year of controversy, the people were split in two."
"So," Fred said, "Which person was the start of your people?"
"Yashooni, was. He was the most loyal, he and his people. Dooanta was the one who rebelled and still does today. When the people left in the two groups, Dooanta took the land that we once had. The people of Yashooni had to leave to the land southward."
"But, what was the controversy that led the people apart?" Fred asked.
"Yashooni's cook came up with a recipe of a new food. They called it piska, or something."
"Do you mean pizza?"
"Yes," said Joshyah, "Dooanta knew that this food would take over the people. It would, at some time, control the peoples money pouches. Yashooni found out, after the first sample of the food, that he was right. He was not going to let it take over until it was properly tested. And it was. Doanta and Yashooni came together as representatives of their people. They were going to fight to make peace. We came to war and fought. Yashooni lost the fight. Today, we fight for peace in remembrance of Yashooni. So, in final, peace means to fight. How else can we make peace?" The people started to talk, each agreeing with what he had said.
"There is another way to teach peace." Fred said.
Joshyah and the tribe leader got their things together to study. They looked so intense, as if they were going to be graded. Joshyah, even brought an hour glass so they would know how much time would pass. Fred said "Argue, Astor Van Hoover!" and a book appeared in his hand. "People, I present to you the Great Book of Weather and The Clouds of Many Book! These holds the truths of peace," exclaimed Fred while he showed it to the people. "This book tells us how to reach the highest form of peace and enlightenment, Disneyland, the happiest place on earth." Fred spent the next three days teach the people about how to reach Disneyland. He taught them from the books of Honda and Toyota.
"We have heard and will follow this path. May we each have a copy of these sacred texts?" asked Joshyah.
"Yes!" Fred answered then wave his hand and a copy of each book appeared for each of the listeners. "But, you should understand that the books are not sacred, that would be a form of idolatry." He handed the booklets around the crowd. They were looking at the pamphlets, and started to talk amongst each other.
One of the people looked up and asked, "What are these things, and why do you call them bad?"
"Oh, sorry about that," Fred said. He did not know how far behind in technology they were. He guessed that they would have cars at least. "What is your name?"
"My name is Raymond, what do rub your head for?"
"Oh, did I? Uh, never mind that. You need to find peace with the Ori. Where I come from there is a place we meet regularly. The place is situated on the cleavland rocks, there are lines of these two rocks. They are icons of worship called actors and actresses, refereed to as twins." Fred said.
"We will obey you!" Raymond yelled.
"No, that was an example of what not to do. You and the Ori need to become one like, like a PO box. You need to be like bloggers and put in your comments to unify the blog, or people in this case."
"What are you talking about?" Announced the chief.
Fred realized that they had no idea what these things were. He spoke, "Each midsummer night's dream, you need to go to the Ori and give them presents of peace. After three years you will be one people, the Biologyasos, once again. If you don't you shall be cursed with a plaque until you have repented and done the task I have given you."
"What should be our first gift to them. Oh Great Caren!" asked the Joshyah.
"First off, why did you call me Caren?"
"It means you our the great solver of problems. The Caren before you had a dream, a dream to solve our nose problem, snoring. In the dream, he walked to a great snoring canal. There he heard someone called Britney Spears, sing a song sounded like 'Shibby doo da wa cha!' She had tube that said carpet cleaner in right hand, and remote in other hand. There was a people box, a box where small people appear. She turned channel from a game of Matieng to a new game 'Whose line was that.' They had infomercials on our problem. He woke, and taught us. Then he died a year later." replied Joshyah.
"Well, I think you should create a song for the Ori. I will be back, I must go teach the Ori, which way to their village?" asked Fred. Joshyah pointed north. Fred, went in that direction. He traveled for three hours until he entered a clearing. He heard rustles in the bushes. All of a sudden five darts flew from several bushes hitting Fred in the chest, he felt fatigued and fainted. When he came to he was in his Amonorg form, and tied to a stake. He felt as if he was run-over by a semi-truck. He looked up to see one very tall person, completely naked, standing directly over him. Fred put his hand up to his head. He had a bad headache. He didn't know if he was conscious or dreaming.
"What is you?" The tall figure asked.
"Oh," Fred moaned, looking directly up at the figure. "I don't know. I think I saw Uranus.
The figure started to laugh, "You say you sea a planet? I once went to the head chief and asked him about the planets. He sent me on a many incredible stormquests."
"That's a likely story," Fred mumbled.
"What you say?" He yelled, "What do you last remember."
"I almost got run-over by a semi!" Fred looked around the room looking for someone or something.
"You know name of you? Or not? Eh?"
"What, are you Canadian?" There was a moment of silence. Fred looked around the room again. He looked back up at the man. "Did we meet?" He asked.
"What? But, are you ok?"
"Shall we meet?"
"What are you from, a cult?" The man was getting angry.
"Lets call me Chubbuck. Whats your name?"
The man looked around the room timidly. "My name is Zachary. I haven't told many people my name before."
"No, that's not your name. I'll call you Brother Seagull."
Suddenly another man came into the room. He was especially short. He looked up at the taller man. "Hey, Chiefster, what have you found about him?"
"I am worried. He talks oddly. He mentioned something about a semi-truck."
"What is that?" Asked the shorter man.
"Whats your name?" Asked Fred to the shorter man.
"Oh," He said, "I am one of the leaders. My name is Starse."
"Your name should be Tumor." Fred said. "My name is Chubbuck by the way."
Starse looked at the taller man and said, "What is your name then?"
"Oh," Said the taller man, "Uh, he called me Brother Seagull."
"He is odd," Said Starse.
"I once knew a man named iPod." A drop of sweat ran down Chubbuck's head. "Man, I am feeling ill. Do you have packet of Adult Stem Cells by chance? If you don't, that's fine."
"I don't know," Said Brother Seagull, "What do they look like?" He grabbed Chubbuck and pulled him off the steak. He ripped off his clothes and yelled, "Sha sha ho feo fetus, ago lanto!" Chubbuck suddenly grew to human size, but he was still an Amonorg. The other two men were pressed against the sides of the hut. "Oh," Brother Seagull said, "Maybe I should have done that outside."
"Oof, I am pressed against this raft river thing, a thing in which you raft down a river. Argh, we should name this thing." Said Starse
"The name should be, a River Raft," Said Chubbuck.
"Oh, that sounds good," Said Brother Seagull. "Is there any way that we can get out of this uncomfortable position."
"Well, cant you turn me back? If you can turn me to this, you can change me back." Said Chubbuck.
"It is not that easy. As you might be able to see, I cant move my arms."
"Well, I cant see anything to do." Said Starse, "While we are sitting here, can you tell us anything about you, Chubbuck?"
"I will try to remember. Who are you people?" Asked Chubbuck.
"Well, we are the Ori." Said Brother Seagull. "Our people are small. We have many traditions which are even strange to us. We take the women and make children. If the child is a girl, we have a feast."
"Sometimes we even do it when it is a boy." Said Starse.
"Oh yea," Said Brother Seagull, "Anyway, after the children are made, we have a feast with the women."
"Ah, that sounds nice." Said Chubbuck, "You must really like each other."
"No, we don't. When I say that we have a feast, I mean that we eat them."
"We are cannibals." Said Starse.
"Oh, ok. Whatever that means." Said Chubbuck. "What caused you to have these beliefs?"
"Oh, well. Many years ago, just after our people split in two, there was a mystical asteroid that landed in our land. Because of it, we do what we do today."
"How can that make you go eat people as a tradition?" Asked Chubbuck.
"Uh," Said Brother Seagull, "It was the media. Anyone will believe the media."
"Ah, that is true." Said Chubbuck. His head was pressed against the ceiling. It was hard for him to see a thing. He noticed that he was slowly expanding, three inches per second. "Oh, I am so happy that you make these huts so strong. It appears that the hut is just stretching as much as I am." Brother Seagull and Starse were in a lot of pain. They felt like they were being pressed thin. "So," Said Chubbuck, "Why are your people all naked?"
"Well, ow." Said Starse, "The fashions were getting terribly odd between the boys and the girls. The boys were growing long hair, and the girls--ooow!"
"They," Continued Brother Seagull, "They were taking testosterone for breakfast. Things were getting odd, all right, ow."
Starse continued, "Because of this oddness we had to make a change. If we unclothe ourselves, then we could tell who was what."
"And because of our traditions," Starse said, "tradition of cannibalism, we needed to be able to tell gender. Ahh! Why do you keep expanding?"
"Ow," Said Chubbuck, "I have no idea. Brother Seagull was the one who changed me with some mystical spell. Owww! I am just as uncomfortable as you are, if not more."
An hour had passed, and the hut was very thin. It was so thin that you could see through the walls at the three guys inside. The whole village of twenty people surrounded around the hut. The hut, at this point, had a diameter of around 346 feet.
"Aaarrgh!!!" Chubbuck yelled. "What a stupid hut. Your people are helpless. They have been gathered watching us for half an hour now."
"Well," Said Starse, "That one kid tried to pop the hut with a pin, and that didn't work."
"So, why is your village so small? I can only could around 15 or 18 from my view."
"Our village has 22 people in it." Said Brother Seagull.
"It is so small, because of that darn cannibalism tradition. We get hungry and we eat. That is why there are no weak thin people in the village, we have already eaten them." Said Starse.
"You need to work on that problem," Said Chubbuck.
All of a sudden there was a strong wind that blew from the East. The hut lifted off the ground and bounced several hundred miles. Each bounce, the hut landed on a poor little chicken, and then landed on a huge tree stump.
"Oh my, goodness! The poor little chickens!" exclaimed one of the watching women.
All of a sudden the eldest member of the village, who was called Car Pool, ran to the hut and said "Oh, how stupid was that! Why did you have to go and do that Jack! I always have to fix your mistakes my apprentice, what am I going to do with you?"
Car Pool began chanting a phrase that sounded like he was saying, "Can you call my husband a goddess! "
Fred started shrinking each time the phrase was said it took an hour for him to return to regular human size.
Then Car Pool did a gesture with his hands and Fred took on the form of a male human.
"Thanks," gratefully said Fred "It was getting crowded in there," as he and the others got out of the hut.
"We are hungry, bring out the women!" yelled Starse.
"No, don't do that!" exclaimed Fred, "You guys need to stop eating each other."
"What should we eat then?" asked Starse
"I know you guys should start eating the fruits in this forest. Are there any edible ones near by?"
"What is your favorite fruit to eat?" asked Brother Seagull.
"I love apples!" replied Fred. As Fred finished saying this, there was a great rumbling in the ground. The stump that the hut had landed on started glowing, and then from it grew a fully grown apple tree with ripe red apples.
The villagers started praising and bowing at Fred. He was chanting "Power Pointer! Power Pointer!" in a methodical rhyme, almost as if the where drums.
"What is a 'Power Pointer?'" asked Fred.

Car Pool stopped chanting and bowing, and stood up and said "There once was a man. He sought to find the one great power. But on his journey he found something surprising to him. There was not one great power, there were many. But which one would he choose to follow? That is where his job came in. He became The Power Pointer."

"But why am I the Power Pointer?"

"The prophecy of the Power Pointer says that that tree stump will bring forth what ever fruit the Power Pointer says. So that makes you the Power Pointer!" explained Car Pool.

"Well, then maybe we should eat, I am hungry. Everyone, take an apple!" commanded Fred.

The village stopped there praising of Fred and each member picked an apple. After each had eaten an apple, theirs eyes started to glow. Then they all looked at each other and said, "Why are we still all naked, we should not have taken up such a foolish tradition?"

They then ran into the jungle and made themselves clothing. They then returned to the tree to listen to Fred. Car Pool asked Fred, "Will you tell us a story, oh great Power Pointer?"

"Yes," answered Fred, "Have you ever heard the Legend of Sir Joshua?"

"No," they replied. Fred told them the legend, he then ate an apple from the tree, his legs started to tingle.

"Why on earth do your legs look like that?" Brother Seagull asked while pointing at Fred's legs.

"Holy Scottish Kilt!" Exclaimed Fred. There was a bright flashing coming from his legs. Many colors shone which nobody had yet seen. The ground started to shake and give forth bright light also. A small child by the name of One Tooth came over to Fred. The child had his thumb in his mouth. He looked up at Fred and said with power, "You are a great soul. You have given much to this people. We have a great knolege of greed, shelglessness and temper. We still have much to learn and to learn from. But dont worry, I will take over thy stead." The child turned towards his little sister. She was pulling a large bowl looking thing along with her. "Fred," The child said, "This is the Passive Pensive. With this you shall teach us your final bidding."

Fred picked up the Passive Pensive and turned to the people. He looked into the pensine and touched the bottom. A clear liquid started to apear out of nowhere. There he could see what he would become, and what to teach the people. He could see past, present and future. He cleared his throught and said to the people, "You are the begining of a great legacy. You have seen the Prophesy of the tree. This day shall be known as Apple Day. Both Scotsman and the Irish shall be known as Brother. The Egyptian shall become as pharos and pass away. You people have become one people. You shoud go and join your brothers. Just as a crossword puzzle gets compleated a new one comes again. Knowlege is power, and power in knowlege. You will not see me for some time. I bid thee welcome to a new day, and I say farewell."

Car Pool yelled, "But who will lead us then?"

One Tooth walked forward and said, "I shall lead people to greatness, just as the great Fred has done. I will lead you, the people, to greatness. But, you will need to have patience. I am still young. You will have to wait until I have more than one tooth." One Tooth turned towards Fred and said to him and the people. "The spirit, even the great spirit has let something known unto me. You know, dont you, Fred." Fred noded, he had seen it in the pensive. Suddenly the light coming from Fred's legs got really dim and his legs started to grow wider and taller. The rest of his body began to glow too. The village was getting scared. They didnt know what to do. They feared for their lives.

"Fear not," Said One Tooth, "The prophesy is at hand."

Fred yelled in pain. Everyone turned to look at Fred. What was happening. Fred's abdomen started to lengthen to ten feet. Because it was so long he fell over forward. His abdomen was like a snake. His arms up were lifted up by his snake like abdomen. Suddenly his legs changed form. He grew two more knees per leg. There was a loud cracking of his leg bones as this was happening. His toes molded together as one and grew two feet long to a sharp point. His feet were like the poisonous end of a scorpion's tail. His two tail-like legs lifted in the air and hunched over as if they were ready to strike.

One tooth watched this with much anticipation. He knew what was happenig. As this was taking place he too began to grow.

Fred, at this point, was still growing into a new form. There was a crackling sound followed by a sharp ripping of skin. Fred was yelling louder than before. His arms suddenly fell off. Blood was porring from both wounds. But, something else was replacing them. Two skin-made bubbles started to inflate out of the two arm holes of his shirt. They started to form something human like. At the ends of them hair started to grow, then eyes and ears. He now had two heads for arms. They both started to blink and breath. They looked up at Fred. His left head said, "Hey there, my name is Freshile." And the right head said, "My name is Fredoodle." Fred was going out of him mind. What is happeing here. Why did he have two more heads. It was hard enough to have one.

One Tooth at was growing older. He now appeared to be the age of 23. He was a man now. He was very muscular and tall. But, he still only had one tooth.

Fred's head started to hurt. He could feel the absense of his arms. He wanted to grasp his head. Freshile said, "Oh, sorry that hurts. That is why we are here." Fredoodle said, "We are your suport group." Two thorns pierced through Fred's scalp. They suddenly turned and pointed straight up. They grew to one foot in length. When Fred oppened his eyes they both fell out. But, he could still see. The back of his eye holes were lit up by a yellow glow. He started to smile. He was getting stronger.

"Oh my gosh!" Someone yelled.

In the middle of Fred's back something was trying to break out of his skin. There were eight bumps on his back, two rows of four. His skin was stretching and streching. He was waiting for the skin to break. Suddenly it did. Eight black and hairy pole-like things shot out of his back, straight up in the air. They reached the height of twenty feet. They each suddenly bent in two places and each bent to touch the ground. They were like eight huge spider legs. They began to lift him in the air. He was like nothing anybody had seen before. Both rows of teeth melted together, until he had only two teeth. One on top, and one on bottom. He looked down at the people. The village shrunk to the ground and tried to hide. Fred bent his spider legs and jumped into the air. He could fly, using his two heads like rutters.

The adult One Tooth stood up among the people and said, "Behold, THE AMMONZAH!"

THE END

Story #5 : The Great War of Oswasso

The Great War of Oswasso

by The Power Pointer Brothers

Along time ago, in a Universe far far away. The galaxy, Oswasso, was in turmoil. Oswassos governement had betrayed its people and a civil war broke out. The only chance for peace was a military star fighter captian, named Joshua Todd. His faithful alien companion/co-pilot, Bryon the Oklahomian. They have currently been sent to the desert planet of Mueller to find a spy that has plans curtial to the victory of the military. The spy's name was William, the only human on the whole planet. He was rumored to be hiding on the outskurts of the town of Washtin. They exit their ship, to try to find William.
"I think we need to talk to some of the natives, Bryon." exlcaimed Josh.
"BURP-SLRUP-CHURP" replied Bryon in his native tounge, which means "OK! Boss!"
"I havent been on this planet before. So here is what we know. There is only one human on this planet. He lives in the outskurts of some town, Washtin. I am aware that he is the founder of this city. I dont know that much else. What about you Bryon?"
"Computing . . . Computing . . .," Said Bryon, for he was one of many robots the military owned. "The city is over that hill. Many strange creatures live there. We must take caution."
Josh looked towards the hill. He took a deap breath. "Ok, you know how much I hate alien like creatures. I just hope they are not dirtmen." Josh had a lot of experience with dirtmen. They were dwellers of dark caves and caverns. He considered them very evil.
The two of them headed towards the hill. When they got to the top, they looked down at the city. "Wow," Said Josh. The city was derived of several 'sky scrapers' of 15 feet tall. The city looked like a scaled down version of New York City, of planet Earth.
"What is this?" Josh asked Bryon.
"Computing . . . these creatures do not show up on any charts. They are specialized of this planet." Bryon said.
Josh looked around and rubbed his forehead with his foot. He had no idea what to think.
"Hey there!" someone said.
They turned around to see a man, of the race of Human. "My name is William." He said.
"What are these things?" Josh asked.
"Oh," Said William, "they are Amonorgs. I found them here when I first explored this planet. I felt so bad for them. I built this city for them. Surprisingly, they have found a way to suport me. Do you want a pizza?"
Josh looked at the Amonorgs, he wanted to tell the guys back home about them. But he couldnt describe them. They were like little mice, wo which humans look the size of the size grand tetons. They had five vocal cords, and there lanuage was unaudilbe to their main preadtors, the Razacs. Even though the Amonorgs were not edible for Razacs, the Razacs would use their hides for clothing. Five Amonorgs brought a 10 inch pizza, this was suprising sight to Josh, since he had never seen or herd of the Amonorgs, or known that they could carry many times their own weight.
"What type of pizza is that?" asked Bryon, while Josh's mouth hang open out of amazment.
"It is a pepperion," squeaked one of the Amonorgs.
"That is my favorite type!" exclaimed Josh, as he lunged towards the pizza.
"How did they learn english?" asked Bryon, while he scanned each of the Amonorgs in sight, for the purpose of research for the rest of the scientific community.
"Well, when my transportation crashed on this planet, I cried for a week. They already knew the language; I olny knew Dvorak before. But, I have taught them Dvorak, just in case there is an emergency."
He turned to one of the Amonorgs and said, "Jdt Cfpgdw hs tsf ,alk ks us sfk kslgujk?"
A little Amonorg looked up and said back, almost unaudibly, ":fodw G ps.d tsf ;s mfij."
"Wow," Said Bryon in an automatic response mode.
Josh said, "The cheese on that pizza was amazing. When I ate it I could hear a singing headless choir. They sang, 'Say hello my little friend'. That reminds me of a good friend of mine back home, Gulliver. I love you, my little friend. He was my leader."
Bryon computed for a minute. He could not learn the language, it was too complex. He said, "What did you two say back there in the language of Dvorak?"
William translated it to be, "'Hey julie, do you want to go out tonight?' and she said 'Well, last night was pretty fun. You want to make children.' She loves to eat turnips."
"You go out on dates with them?" replied Josh disgusted, and then whispered to Bryon, "That is something Fred would do."
"You mean Fred the squerril?" queried Bryon in a whispered tone.
"Not Fred from intelegence. Fred the groundhog, you know from the IT department."
"Oh, yah! That makes more sence, now!" replied Bryon, since he had turned on his personality chip.
"So, do you have the plan my friend?" asked Josh.
"Yes, here you go!" relpied William as he handed Josh a cell phone, "The code is 1987, followed by 1988."
"Good, we can leave now. Lets go Bryon."
"Sorry sir, but the ship has apparently broken, due to rough land on this planet. The engine is having porblems with the feedback generator, and I can not fix it myself. If we try to turn on the engines, the ship might just explode!" explained Bryon.
"By the love of meat! How do we get off this planet now that the ship is broken?" yelled Josh.
"Well," Said Julie, "I will go and get the Amonorg R3-C1. He was our first child." She looked up at William lovingly. William blushed and smiled.
Bryon could not compute this. The Amonorg was finding affection towards a human. Not only that, but they have had children. Bryons circuits broke and he shut down.
"Oh, dang it." Said Josh, "I will have to call the Great Groundhog. I dont know how to fix the 8i929hnni924i99dd035 robot series. Gosh, and I do know how to fix the 8i929hnni924i99dd034 series."
William felt realy bad about this. "Do you want a new companion?" he said.
"Yea, that would be great."
"Hey, Fred, come out here." A really fat Amonorg walked out. He looked like a tennis ball with legs. "This is fred, my first son. He will help you from here on."
"All Hail Fred!" Shouted Josh. He then looked sad and said, "But we shall die on this cursed planet. Darn ship."
Fred stood up higher and said, "Have no fear. I know how to fix your ship. For I am small."
"You better get us off the planet! Other wise I will eat you for my dinner, That pizza only made me hungrier!" demanded Josh.
"Be patiant, I will fix it, but I hope that your wires are Edible Wires, because that is the only type of wires I know how to fix!" retorted Fred.
"I have no idea what type of wires the ship has. That was Bryon's responsiblity. All I know is that the ship was made in Bountiful, UT, where ever that is!!" screamed Josh. As Josh continued to rant and rave, Fred went to work fixing the ship. After twelve hours, Fred was finished, he yelled, "Shut up! I have fixed the ship, lets start her up!"
"OK!" yelled Josh, "You don't have to yell!"
Both Josh and Fred entered the cockpit. Josh was last to sit down, he almost sat on Fred. "Your, chair is over there! That chair is yours!" said Josh as he pointed to a little seat on the control panel.
"WOW!" said Fred in grand amazement, "Why do you have a chair the perfect size for me."
Josh booted up the ship. Everything turned on fine. Fred had even upgraded the system from the old Windows Vista to the new OS X 10.9.3. Josh was much pleased with this. He sent a quick text message to the rest of the military. When they heard the news of the change they were very happy. They had never thought about the change to OS X. They sent him a text back saying, "You have been promoted to whatever position you want."
"Fred," Said Josh. "Do you want to take the ship out on its first upgraded flight?"
Fred was shocked. "Sure," He said. Fred then looked very sad. "Sorry, I am sad. I am leaving my best friend, Kirnack. I called him King Kirnack. We would play games where he would be Kirnack the Bryon Maker. And, I would be left being, Queen of the Kirnacks. We didnt have any girlfriends."
"Dont cry, once you start to fly this ship testosterone will take charge and you will forget all of that." Josh said. "I should tell you about how we got here. On my planet, Oswasso, there is a civil war happeing. I had to come out here to talk to William, your father. He gave me neccesary things to help us win the war. But, the travel was long across the galexy. Are you ready?"
"Yea," Fred said. He pushed a button making the ship levetate. He grabbed hold of the joystick and pulled up. The ship shot up into the atmosphere. As they passed through the atmosphere the stars started to show through. The sky became black. The planet had a rather small moon that orbited around the planet. They were aproaching it.
"Where should I go?" Asked Fred, "I havent been this far away."
"We are headed to the planet, Oswasso. And there it is." Josh pointed at the moon.
"Ok, boss! Where should I land the ship?" asked Fred, as they approached the moon.
"I don't care, just land this darn ship!" barked Josh.
Fred landed the ship right on top of a jumpy fella named, Runaway Jack. Jacke yelled "Home Run!" as he was chrushed by the ships landing gear.
"What was that?" asked Fred.
"I don't care! I'm just glad we finally made it here!" retorted Josh, while unfastening his harness.
"What is the first order of buisness, boss?"
"To get you a cingular cell phone!"
"But I want a sprint phone, sir."
"Sorry, but that is the law everyone must have a cingular phone! And we have to follow the law, or be killed." replied Josh.
They walked into the nearest Cingular store. "What are the models of cell phone for military personel?" Josh asked the saleperson.
"Hi, my name is Jack. Well, we have the Timber and Lumber avalable for free to military personel." explained the salesperson.
"What is the diffrence between Timber and Lumber?"
"Well, the Lumber is the top of the line. It can even make copies of it self. You will never have to buy another phone if you get the Lumber. But the Timber hardly works at all, and not to mention that it requires you to plant it for it to work. Which one would you like?"
"I'll take the Lumber!" replied Fred. Jack took all the required information from Fred, and activated Fred's new Lumber. As they left the store Fred asked "Where to Boss?"
"Wait," Josh said, "We have to make sure your phone is working first."
"It is."
"Do you have the phone number to IT?"
"What is that?"
"It stands for Information Technologies" Josh answered.
"Oh, IT. IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT!" Fred shouted.
"Shut up you imbisole," shouted Josh, "So what programs do you have on your lumber?"
"Uh, VirusMaker,"
"Good, you dont have Windows Vista do you?"
"Heck no, I have MAC X"
"You should call it as it is, OS X 10.9.3. What else?
"Access 2007."
"What?! Get rid of that. Dont they know it is the year 3469? Call 1-800-Assasin. They will know what to do."
"Well, shouldn't we get the plans to the the Great PeaBrain, the leader of the military?"
"Yes, but he likes to be called, Military Man! We think he is an adict to sugar, and doughnuts." answered Josh, as he walked towars the tallest building in the city. They entered the building and used the elevator to ravel to the top floor, where PeaBrain worked. For some reason they each recieved a pack of sugar coated doughnuts for free from a vending machine in the elevator, which would not move until the doughnuts where taken from it.
"Why don't you eat your doghnuts, sir" asked Fred.

"Do you know where I am from? I am from the planet of the vegitarians, we don't eat meat or sugar. It is posion to our systems."

"AHHHH!" replied Fred, just as the elevator stopped and the door opened. They walked into a large room, with a long red carpet leading to a desk by the window. When they had walked half-way across the room, a man in a Superman outfit jumped in front of them and said, "My name is The Military Man Man Man Man! Ooooh, I smell SUGAR! OOOOH DOUGHNUTS! Give them too me, or die!"

"Why should I?" Josh said.

"Because," Military man said, "They are plans to build a giant water closet that will flood the rebels planets with waste of the government!"

"Oh," Fred Said. "Give it to him."

Josh gave Military Man the doughnut. Military man brought the doughnut close to his hairy chest. He closed his eyes feeling the power within. "Ahhh." He said. He held it up in the air and said. "We want peace. This is peace. The way of the doughnut shall save our people. Do you understand?"

Fred said, "Uh, I think I need to go to class, a different class."

"This is not a class!"

Josh rose his hand. Military man said, "Yes, you."

"I need to use the bathroom."

"Never mind that," said Military man. "Where is the car?"

Military man's butler, who was standing there the whole time, pointed out the window.

"Ah. Lets Ride!" He yelled.
All of a suden Josh realized that the rest of his family lived on one of the planets that the rebelion had an established base named Paper Box. And if the Government went throug with it's plan, his family would die. Josh loved his family, his mothers name was Allison, his father Mark, his married brother Justin, his sister, who was on another planet teach people, whose name I keep forgeting for some reason. So Josh pulled out his trusty star pistol, Cat in a Box. He aimed at Military Man, pulled the triger, and yelled "Kill the Cat!"
"They're here?" asked Military Man as Cat in a Box made a spooky sound and released a cat shaped lazer beam, which hit Military Man in the back and killed him instantly.
"Wow! A subordanate killing a superior! Like I never heard of that before!" exclaimed Fred in sarcasim.
His body fell out the window. On the sidewalk below, there was a mother with a baby stroler, stopping to talk to her little baby boy. The baby said "Check my diaper, please!" The mother had stopped to check it. When Military Man had fallen half way, the mother started moving again. The body of Military man just barely missed the mother and her stroller.
"What do you take me as, a traitor?" Josh asked the Guards.
The lead Guard replied "We have been working the curage to do that forever. We knew he had gone crazy the second he started calling himself 'Military Man Man Man.' Thanks for killing him, he was going to make a new law forcing everyone to use Windows Vista, and we all love Macs."
"What is your name?" asked Josh
"My name is Cromwell. I hope you don't think that you will be the new ruler of the galaxcy!" Said the guard.
"Of course not," Suddenly there was a loud sound, 'MEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!" The cat shaped lazer blew up the guard. Chunks of flesh went everywhere. Josh put a sample of flesh in a bottle. "This is a parlament of mac!"
The Mac God apeared on a computer screen and said, "You are a discrace to all mac users. You have the heart of a Vista Star, King of Microsoft. Leave this people, they mean you no harm." The screes turned off.

Josh turned and ran down an alley of the city. He was hidden for three days. Fred was worried about this. He had gathered many of the guards together. They were going to help Josh and bring him back to the mac fold.

"Ok, men. Are you ready?" Fred said to his men. "We are finding Josh and helping him out. He would do the same for us. We shall not call this a Civil War. It is a war for friendship. The coming together of friends. We are the Puritian." Suddenly there was a great light that shone above Fred. There was a compilation of many, but was one voice.

"Fred," The voice of many said, "You have been found pure. You have a great destiny ahead of you. You must bring back Josh, then you can fulfill your destiny with us, the Wurms."

"But, how can I keep pure in this battle?"

"It is the act itself that keeps thee pure, pure in heart." Fred thought about this. He knew what he must do. "Now go. Save Josh."

Fred gathered his things together. "Lets go men, now!" He turned around. There was a shadow in the alley. "Who is that?" Fred said.

"Only you would know."

"Josh," He said under his voice. "Come back. You know what is true and good. You know what you can become, and it is better than this."

"You need not speak of this. I have what I want. For I am," Josh started to come out of the shadows. Part of a dark cloake apeared. His hand grabbed the corner of a building. Suddenly he jumped out revealing his true nature. "I am the Vistiain!" His face was covered is fruit flies, which covered many sore spots of rotting flesh. There was a hole in the side of his cheak which he breathed through, and sometimes even spoke though. "In your eyes, I am lost!"

"I need you, the galaxcy needs you, turn to me." pleaded Fred.
"I will no longer call you Fred, you shall be George!" yelled Josh so loud that it scared Fred.
"I wet my pants! . . ." replied Fred.
"Go see a vetranarian, for your small blader, George. Take my pants and rub thy face in them!" yelled Josh. He then ripped his pants off and trew them at Fred. They landed right on top of Fred. Fred quickly ate a hole in the pants
"Stop calling me George. The Wurms have called me, Fred. This is what I insist you must call me that. Can you see the light, I can and you are in the dark, my friend."
"I don't agree. I will have to say that you are in the light, and I am in a mild environment. I shall rule the world, with my family by my side."
"No," Said Fred, "This is not what you really want. You know the truth, your afraid of it too."
"Liar!" He threw his shirt at Fred. It landed next to him. Josh was in nothing but his underwear which were yellow and green. The rotting flesh covered him. You could even see his pancreas beating. He held his hand up, pointing his bony finger at Fred. "Crown me or Kill me then!" He yelled. And a spark of light protruded from his finger soaring straight at Fred. It hit him square in the chest. He fell hard to the ground. He could not move or feel a thing.
Fred looked over his limp body at Josh. He was slowly aproaching with his finger out stretched. Fred looked at the guards that were with him. He motioned to them with his head to help. One of them started to walk away slowly, while the others came to help. Josh turned towards them punching at the air. A strong wave of toxic gas hit them over. While they were trying to get back up, they were passing out and dying. Josh knelt down at Fred's feet. "Oh, sorry. What shall I do with you now? I cant put you in front of the king, I have over thrown him already, and he is dead. The serfs are eating him right now." Josh took his long bony finger with a long chalk like nail on it, and slightly touched Fred's leg. It began to swell and rot. "After I kill you, I will work with your family next." He pierced his finger the rest of the way into his leg. The pain was so intense. He could hardly bear it.
Just then a figure from the dark tackled Josh. It was the guard that walked away earlier. He was a member of the Electrical and Computer Engineering group of the city. He was one of the ones in charge of updating the computers. He reached over to a bicycle. It had a computer screen on it. He touched the screen and entered a code. It began to get very Chile. The ground shook and cracked.
"What is this witchcaft?" Josh asked, "Are you from the nation of the twelve?"
"No, I'm from England."
A large crack broke under the two of them, causing them to fall deep in the earth. Soon after, Fred was able to move again. But, it was extreamly hard to walk on his left leg.
"What is happening to me?" asked Fred.
"I have started the end of this planet. You, the only true leader have been infected by me. No matter what happend to this body I am in, I will not die as long as you are a live!" said a voice inside Fred's head, it sounded like Josh. "As you know, the planet has already choosen you as its ruler, and since you are impure, it will start to die. This will be the end of the Great Government of Oswasso! And they shall have you, so I will not die. My body shall die, but I will return!"
All of a suden, the earth started to shake. One of the Gaurds said "Where is Fred?"
Another replied "There he is we must save him to save the planet!" As they picked up Fred, he squealed "Kill Me! Kill Me!"
"We can not, it is forbiden." said one guard, "We can not even let you kill yourself either. Sorry! If you hold on everything will be alright. Where is ECE?"
"I think he fell in the hole." replied the other Gaurd. The hole closed up just then, they all felt bad for ECE could climb out. The earth stopped shaking.
"Here we mourn ECE. He didn't come out of the hole in the earth in time to be saved," said Fred. All of a suden the city started to crumble. The Guards carried Fred to the nearest ship. They got in it to be protected. "The city is falling apart!" exclaimed a guard.
"It is not just the city, It is the entire planet," exclaimed Fred "Get this ship in the air! NOW!"
One of the guard took the pilot seat. The ship rosed into the air, but it zigged and zagged as it flew. They flew to the closets base ship. The ship docked with the base ship. The base ship general meet them in the docking station.
"Why did your ship zigg zagg all the way here?" asked the General.
"Well, I didn't know what i was doing!" exclaimed the guard who piloted the ship.
"What happened to Oswasso?" asked the General.
"It must have been a reble attack of some sort!" exclaimed the Guard.
"No, it was because of Josh. He infected me, and posioned the planet," explained Fred, "He also said that as long as I'm alive he will not die. We must search the Galaxcy and find him."
While Fred and his army search for Josh. Josh's spirit searched for a new body. He found one on the planet Francis. It was a boy named, Justin Brother. He was the only half-human on the entire planet. His father was a Logician, a race that has purged themselves of emotions, his mother was from the planet Vegitarian. The body was the best match Josh could find. Josh slowly lured the boy to give up his body. It took five weeks for the boy to fully give his body to Josh. When Josh took over the body, it changed and grew to an adult body.
The mother went over to talk to her son. She called for him saying, "Oh, Justin?"
His adult body came around the corner and yelled, "I'm not Justin. I am Josh, I married his sister long ago." Said Josh. The boy was still fighting to be in his body.
Justin yelled, "I talk to dogs, I am their messenger." He did this in his younger voice. His mother got really excited in hearing her boy again. Josh did not want her to be in the way, so he killed his mother.
Justin was shocked to hear the cries of his dying mother. He wanted revenge. He would wait for the perfect moments to speak through the new Josh. Josh was going through a big city, Anchorage, to find a new ship to get off this planet. He didnt even know where he was. "Excuse me, sir," He spoke, "I am looking for a space vehicle. Do you have any that get above 14 light years per hour?"
"Oh, yes we do. If you follow me over here I will show you." The man said.
"I hate dogs," Yelled Justin. The salesman looked at Josh with much confusion. He pretended that he didnt hear anything. They aproached the vehicle when Justin yelled again, "I am ruler of the planet. Give me money or this for free."
"Sir, what is wrong with you?" The man shouted.
"Sorry," Josh said. "It is a complicated story."
"How do you like the name, General Josh?" Justin anounced.
"Sir!" Said the man.
"Sorry, but--" Josh started.
"Can I inspect your pubic hair?" Justin yelled again.
The salesman was very mad at this point. He took Josh to the local police to have a ten minute trial.
"Your, Justin Brother, have been accused of freaking out the most presious people in our comunity, the Salesperson. What is your plea?" said a the Judge.
"I am a spirit which have taken over a boys body!" exclaimed Justin.
"That was uncalled for son!" said the Judge.
"Yes, I am out of order!" exclaimed Justin.
"Sorry, about that, I have seemed to have lost control of myself recently." lied Josh.
"Sue me now!" yelled Justin.
"I have to get out of this body!" exclaimed Josh. The Judge looked at Josh/Justin in amazement. Then Josh and Justin were fighting each other verbaly.
"You will be inprsioned for the rest of your life, for freaking out a salesperson, and me! That is your punishment!" yelled the Judge over the racket being made by Josh/Justin. The Gaurds came forward to take Josh/Justin into custidy. Josh expelled Justin's spirit into the one of the guards and killed him. Then he infected the Judge and guard. They became his minions. As he and his new minions exited the court house, Josh exclaimed, "Good bye citizens! Hello Minions!" It took twenty-four hours for josh to take over the entire planet. Just before the last citizen was infected, he injured Josh. Josh had lost his ability to create more minions, but his minions still had that ability. Josh created a plan to take over the galaxcy. He would send his minions to every planets so they could spred the infection. His first target, his first bodies birth place, Vegitarian.
Mean while, half way across the galaxcy Fred, was searching for Josh, and trying to figure out how to uninfect himself of Josh's virus. The virus was not spreading, but it made it impossible to completely distroy Josh. "Have we found any signs of him yet?"
"No sir! We have only looked at half the Galaxcy!" replied a solider siting behind a console.
"What is your name, solider?" asked Fred.
"My name is, Vicroy Gunray." Said the guard. "Do you think it is worth trying to save Josh?"
"Not anymore. There is no way I can save him with this leg this way."
"We need to do a tissue sample, to find out what it really is." Said Vicroy. He took out a small sharp hand shovel to scrape off a portion of flesh. He punched in a code into a computer screen. He attached a small hand held scanner to the computer. While he was scanning the flesh sample a homeless man on the ship walked over.
"Its the toad," said the man. "Kill the toad. Kill him."
"What are you talking about sir," Vicroy said to the man.
"That is the Toad that stuff is. Properly named Vespintime, you can tell by the depression in the skin. This is not a regular infection," The man said. He walked over closer to look at Fred's leg closer. He touched it and touged at it. "Yes, I know this." Fred started to scream as he pulled and poked. "This was given him by his mother. The Gift of Dead Puppy." He looked at the guard, "Go, leave, save yourself." The man and the guard got up and started to leave.
"Wait," yelled Fred, "Save yourselves, What about me?"
The man turned around and said, "Your leg is infected by something that only he who infected you can fix. Go to him you must, if you want to live that is."
"If I want to live you say?" Fred said, "But it doesnt spread."
"Not yet. The poison multiplies itself before it takes the body. When it spreads, there is no hope." He turned and left.
Fred started to stand up from his seat. When he first got on the ship, he tried never to walk. He started to walk a little. It felt like his leg bone was crumbling and falling apart. He grabbed hold to the nearest door frame. There was a lazer rifle leaning against the wall. He picked it up and used it for suport. He was able to move around better. It was hard to balance on the gun with only one good leg. He aproached a room with a door open. They were listening to a radio show. It was talking about the recent pandemic at hand. The infection was spreading from one planet to the next. The infection might be able to be destroyed if the holder, Josh, is found and killed. Fred felt terrible, christmas was coming and the galaxy was falling apart.
"Anoying callers!" a man said, bursting out of a door.
"What is it," Fred asked.
"I thought we made peace throughout the galaxy. And I just got a sales call."
"Yea, I thought peace had been brought too." Fred looked down at his leg. The darkness that was in his leg was leaving. "Oh, its leaving," The man started to walk over, very curious. Fred pulled his shirt up to reveal his chest. It was leaving, but leaving to the rest of his body. There was no hope. He had to find Josh now, or die.
"Well, the scan to find Josh won't finish for several hours. Lets watch Star Wars. I love that movie!" exclaimed Vicroy as he pressed a button on a console.
"That is a good idea. I like the one episode that Padma says 'Hold me, like you did at the lake on Naboo, when there wasn't all this war and hate.' If I die, I want to see that movie one more time," said Fred.
They spent the next three hours watching Star Wars. Mean while, Josh had commanded his minion to bring his family to him, without infecting them.
"What is happening? Where are you taking us?" asked Mark Todd, as Josh's minions escorted all of Josh's family, except for his sister who had been killed by the minion's ship landing on her.
As Josh's mother entered his thrown room she Exclaimed "Josh, where did we go wrong! Something must be done about my boy's disease!" when she saw her youngest son, in his disfigured form.
"No, mother there is nothing wrong with me. I am becoming what I was destined to be, The Ruler of the Galaxcy!" exclaimed Josh "I have brought you here to join me in my conquest of the Galaxcy. Together we shall rule, and there shall be PEACE!"
Josh's brother, Justin said "What can I do to help you, Brother? I have always wanted to have power."
"I have a task for you then, Go and Bring me Fred, alive! And you shall recieve his powers. Take these minions," said Josh as seven of his minions walked forward and knelt before Justin, "They will serve thee, and shall spread the infection to those you come in contact with. Allowing you to create an army of minions! Now GO!"
"Yes, brother I shall." replied Justin. He about faced, and told his minions to follow. They went off towards the landing strip. Josh, turned to his parents, and looked lovingly in their eyes.
"Join, me mom and dad. I will never let anything bad happen to you." lovingly said Josh, even though there was still a little evil glint in his eyes.
"You are not our son!" exclaimed Mark. At this Josh's face turned from loving to threatening.
"Do you feel the same way, Mother?" yelled Josh, in a rage. Allision was terrofided.
"No. You are still my son," quietly, and timidly answered Allision, "Please don't hurt Mark. I couldn't live with out him!"
"I will spare him, but he must watch his tounge infront of me!" exclaimed Josh.
Back on Fred's ship, they were just finishing watching Star Wars, when there was gun shots and burst of flames showing on the monitor that looked at the main engine.
"What is going on!" exclaimed Fred. All of a suden, Justin and his minions bursted through the door.
"Come with us, Fred! Or we shall infect everyone here!" demanded Justin.

"I will go with you, but leave these people alone," said Fred in a come voice.

Two of the minions picked up fred, and carried him back to their ship. Justin and the rest of the minions boarded the ship, and returned to Josh. As they returned, the infection was passing from Fred's leg to his arms. His face was going pale. He was loosing strength to endure. His head fell as he passed out.
"Ah, hello Fred, my little decaying friend." Josh said. "I see that you are almost one of us now. Now, open your eyes."
Fred had no choice but to open his eyes. Josh had power over any body that was infected. Fred looked around at the once white walls, now covered in slim and scum. The fridge was the only clean thing. The guards brought him into the kitchen and layed his limp body on the counter. A dark object made a shadow on Fred's body, this shadow was darker than most. "Fred, Fred, my little friend. how are you doing. How do you feel?"
"I feel . . ." Fred tried to speak, "Uh . . . ow, oh . . . whats happening . . . my eyes . . . my vision." Fred started to see everything turn black and white, then turned a dark blue, and all colors became inverted. "My . . . why do I see . . . Aaaaaaaaa!" He screamed, looking at his leg. A dark blue check started piercing and dying his skin. The end of the check wrapped around his leg and up his back, and into his hair. His hair started growing gray and long, until it fell out. When the hair was gone you could see the rest of the stained line from the back of his head to the middle of his brow. Two holes broke out of his cheaks, making him breath and talk through them.
"My friend, you are almost complete. You can see now who you must become. You will have to join me now." Josh said.
Maggets started to grow in Fred's stomac, where they then came out of his cheaks and his mouth. They began to cover his skin and eat at his clothing until it was gone. He looked at his arms that were eaten away to the bone. "You shouldnt have done this. Why?"
"Because I love you. Becoming like me is the only way for us to be together."
"I meant, why did you leave me, and the rest of us?"
"I left you? You left me. You knew my plan from the start, and left me on my path."
"I was on your path, and you changed it. Why cant you see what you have becom--Aaaaah!" He yelled. His calfs were melting at his feet.
Josh looked around and picked up Fred, "I must complete the transformation. He put Fred in the microwave and set it for 5 minutes of printer heat. For five minutes he watched Fred burn and melt suffering past comprehension. The timer went off and he was complete. Josh opened the microwave and picked Fred up. He was very hot, so Josh dropped him on the floor. He looked around for a heat resistant glove and picked him back up. Fred was unconsious.
The door broke down and then entered Fred's guards and the homeless man. "Put him down, you cook of evil!"
"Ah, Gregory. It is good to see you again. Didnt you beg at the corner of 21st street?"
"I worked my way up in society just like everyone else. Now give us Fred back."
"Sorry," Josh said, "but even if I did, it is too late. The transformation is complete."
"It does not matter what has changed Fred physically. Nothing will change the destiny of an Arignot!"
"What!" Josh yelled. "I was unaware of this."
"He was told this when you made your change. You were his assignment. Bringing you back would complete his lifes journey. And you ruined it!"
Josh was astonished. He dropped Fred once again, and he fell to his knees. "What have I done." Ever since Josh was a boy, he wanted to become an Arignot. He had read the stories of the great Cam, the Arignot. Now, all he wanted to be was the ruler of the universe. Freds life was thin, and Josh knew it.
"Must give him a new form! By my power, and strenght I will take him to the planet where I became what I am. I will help Fred with the fulfillment of his assingment in life." exclaimed Josh in a sorryful tone. He looked at Freds body, and knew that there was only one way to save Fred and the Galaxcy. Josh picked him up and carried him to the transport that Justin had used. He traveled for twelve hours and traveled to the planet X in the mysterious void.
"Fred, can you hear me?" asked Josh. Fred did not answer, but was still breathing.
"Your life will end here soon," Josh said to fred as he walked towards a cave. In the cave there was a male human body.
"This is a great Vista, this spirit did not need a body, so it left it here. This is your new body. I command you, the body of Fred, let Fred's spirit pass into this body." At this statement Fred's spirit was transfered to the human body.
"Fred, how do you feel?" asked Josh. Fred's new body opened his eyes, looked at Josh.
"I'm fine, but what is happening to you!" exclaimed Fred. Josh's body was melting and evaporating.
"I have to die,...it is the only way...to save...the...universe. As long as I exist...all diseases will become plauges unto all,...and there...would be another...like me...to distroy...the galaxcy...as we know it. Always...remember...me." explained Josh, in his last dieing breath. His life was ended.
The mystical Sir Joshua, appeared. "You both will be rewarded for you trials. You, Fred, are from now on be an Arignot. And Josh Shall join us, the Wurms!"
A light eminated from Sir Joshua, it touched fred, and he felt his body change into it's Arignot form. He looked at Josh's body, it was gone, and he heared Josh's voice in his head saying "Thank you, my friend. I will always remember you, keep on the right path and we shall see each other again."
THE END

Story #4: Oaha Moki Ango, Chief Ruler of the Land

Oaha Moki Ango, Chief Ruler of the Land

By us two indivisuals that have no time to ourselves, mindless freaks.

Fred was a squirrel that had a dream. That white people and black people and even Chinese people can live together in harmony. What the heck am I saying? I will tell you. He wanted to inspire people to eat poultry. It is good tasting and stuff. Why am I telling you this. I will tell you. It has great significance. You see, poultry has a good sent. People eat it, because chickens are stupid. You get what I am saying? Ok, good.
---Sorry, about that, We have had a few problems with our minds and keeping staying sane, and well, we lost it for the section above, but now starts the Real story. We are sorry for the inconvenience.---
There once was a good little lad by the name of Oaha Moki Ango. This translated means, boy with pig snout ears. As it is understood, he went through a terrible childhood. Children would say, "Oooahh. Ona chaka, Oaha Moki Ango es chookie anah wego." Roughly translated it means, "Oh woe is loser, Boy with pig snout ears, is true to name that is." Yes, a terribly difficult child hood that was. But now that he in nearing manhood, he has to reminisce. Not for the good things, but to see how he has grown. Some say that he has grown into his pig snout ears. But, he does not worry about this, no no! He has turned his back on his past. It is known that he will be the future ruler of Aguantini, The land of the brave. He prepares himself to be the ruler of his land. He wishes to be head chief. But, something in the future awaits him. Something that will make this dream difficult to accomplish. The people who have immigrated from England are taking over many miles of the land. But, nobody of this village is aware of this at this time. Nor, will they ever know for a long time.

One fine day, Oaha Moki Ango, woke up to the rising sun god. He took several minutes to do so.

Oaha Moki Ango danced around singing, "Ango lansi manga cho cha, sueen gote eie casa monee sa . . ." And so on and so forth. Singing many praises to make the day be good. He sang to the sun god to have a great time of harvest. For it was nessesary to have a good amount of crop. It was nearing winter. Oaha Moki Ango was interrupted by a swift wind from the east. This was the answer that he wanted. There was going to be a profitable hunt this day. He was very well pleased. He gathered his spear and his arrow, but forgot his bow. He ran to the south by the foot hills where the big sheep did dwell.

Oaha Moki Ango looked up and saw the wind god come down from the heavens. He worshiped the wind god by chanting "Oma cha ka ma low!" which translated means "I am thy servant, command me to do thy will Great God of changes!" The wind god heard the praise and looked down at Oaha Moki Ango. "You have been a faithful servant, I will give thee a name worthy of your goal in life. From now on you shall be know as Josh, the windblessed. I have a message for you. Strangers are taking over the lands around your tribe, you must be prepared to lead and protect your tribe. Go and seek out the Great Eagle God, He will teach thee the ways of the stranger, so you can be an ambasador between your people and the strangers. I will give the the gift to speak the strangers language. Is it well with you?" the god said this in the english language, but the god's word's meaning was felt in the heart of Josh.
"Yes, I have understood and will obey," Josh replied "I need guidence to the Great Eagle God, tell me where he resides. For we need not remember that great destruction his rath had on my people."
"The path way is hard, It was difficult for many reasons, but what if you were a toad, would the journey be any easier? "
"You think this would happen, my master, For how can I lead my people if I were a toad?"
"The Great Egale God has deemed you worthy to find him, he sayeth he is pleased with your response. Go to the west, travel no stop for three days and nights there you shall find a stone with the symbol of the Great Eagle God, his symbol is that of the egale. Go, do what was asked of thee."
Josh came out of the foot hills and went down to the village. He saw many odd looking people standing there talking to the chief. He stopped by the chief and bowed. "Yo sho mamas boy oh," he said with praise. The odd people looked at him and laughed.
The chief turned to Josh and said in their toungue. "Thank you young Oaha Moki Ango. What is it that you wish to speak?"
"These people bring odd things to us. We dont understand what they want. So, we cannot make any agreements yet. I have spoken to the Wind God. He has sent me to the Eagle God. There I will learn the new language. And we can become one with this people. Wait for me. I dont want to come back to a hostile work environment." Josh turned to leave, but was stopped by all the village boys.
They spoke, "Oh, theres little Oaha Moki Ango again. Looks like he didnt get any food again. He is a poor hunter indeed."
"Hey, my name is Josh now. Thus saith the Wind God. Good bye." Josh walked over to the fire pit. There were four markers around the fire, each pointing a different direction. "So, west is . . . that way." He ran of westward. He ran for a long time, three days and nights to be exact. When he aproached the end of his journey he came to a large ship. It said on the hull of the ship in bold letters, "Noah's Arch." He found this odd. It was in his way of true west. So, he hopped on board. When he was onboard he looked to the sky. It was time. When he turned around there was the rock of the eagle. He touched it and had a vision. In the vision he saw the Eagle God. It spoke to him in magnificance.

"Once known Oaha Moki Ango, and also known Josh. Your name does not please me. I shall give you a new name of goodness. I call thee Car. I have a message for you. These men that have come that look odd in your eyes are good and bad. They will wish to wed many of the brides in your village. Because of this, you will not marry, nor have a family. They will introduce to you many odd things. They shall teach you of office work and lawyers. Terrible places and people those bring. These people are called Explorer 1, and Explorer 2, and Explorer 3, and so on. You will soon learn the blessing of slavery when you become one. Many other things will you learn. But, they will teach you one evil of more evil then the other. It is evil, that is all you need to know. But, they will teach you Christianity. It is the thought of there being only one true God."

"Oh, no."

"Well, actually, they are right about that. So, you will not need any of us other Gods ever again."

"But, what if I need to talk?"

"There is a comandment which you will learn. There shall be no gods before the one and true God."

"Oh, dang it. I liked you."

"Oh, look at the time. You have a long journey back you know. And you are probably really hungry. You are the weakest link. Good bye."

The vision ended and the rock was gone. He quickly ran back to the village. He made the journey only five hours. When he walked in, the village boys said, "Oh, there is that one odd Josh boy. Ha ha. Back again with no food."

He went to the chief and told him of his vision. The chief said, "Good Oaha Moki Ango, you shall go journey with these men and converse with them. You will be good for us to go with them now."

So he left with the people. The odd people lead him to a great vast field where they could talk. They said, "So, you boy, what is your name? Do you understand the words that are comming out of my mouth?"

"Yes," He spoke. "My name is Car. It is a new name given to me by the Eagle God. But, I think I am done listening to him now. So, which one of you are Explorer 1?"

They took a moment to number the explorers. But one of the explorers, the leader, was named Fred. Fred looked Car in the eyes and said "If your going to hang with first you'll need a new name. Your name is now, Bryon. Peace out!"

"I feel glee, at recieving this new name. I am happy, oh so happy. As happy as the sun moves in the sky, it does," gleefully said Bryon.

Bryon traveled with the Explorers. Along the journey Fred said he was thirsty. The group stopped at an oasis, where they drank water, and ate meat, very strange meat that was taken from the Explorers packs.

"What type of meat is this?" queried Bryon.

"You say I eat flesh," said Fred in an outrage.

"Define flesh?" queried Bryon.

"You don't know me. We don't eat animal flesh, unless that is the only option," said Fred.

"Oh, so what is this food?"

"It is called tofu, it is made out of type of bean. Now that we have that understood, did you hear the legend of the great Arignot, Peace?"

"No, what is and Arignot?" asked Bryon.

"Like we are going to tell you? You are but a village boy. What would you understand?"

"Well, I am sure I would understand better than some of the boys in the village."

"Oh, really," Said Explorer 3.

"Yea, their names are Michael, Dewit, and Jakamo." There was silence.

"Oh, well then. Explorer 2, did you have something to say." Said Explorer 5, trying to break the silence.

Explorer 2 looked around, "Uh, yea. I once had six children, twenty grandchildren, and 50 great-grandchildren."

"Excuse him," Said Fred. "He often speaks as if he were very old."

"Have been married for 50 years."

"Hey, be quiet."

"Love lasts forever. At least that is what Joseph Smith says."

Bryon looked at Explorer 6, who hasn't said a thing so far in the journey. "What is wrong with this guy?"

Explorer 6 looked at him and crossed his eyes, "EVIL MEN!" He shouted.

"Ok. Should have guessed that." Bryon said.

Explorer 52 took Bryon aside. They went up to the foothills where they were very secluded. "Hey there. Those guys are sort of odd. You see, they are Christians. They are usually like that. I am what some people call Mormon. We believe in a prophet Joseph Smith and--"

"You convinced me."

"Ok, that was easy. We are on our way to Zion. Brigham Young has already established a great city in a distant land. I wish to find someone to get married to there."

"Death of children!" Shouted Explorer 6.

"His voice really carries, doesnt it?" Said Bryon.

"Look kid. I don't like your name. I will call you PeaBrain. Is that ok?"

"I love that name. My father had that same name. Wow, people really respected him. The pea is sacred in my village."

"Well, lets go to --"

"Salt Lake City, Utah!" Shouted Explorer 6

Explorer 52 yelled, "I am going to kill that man."
"I don't know much about what you believe, but in my village it is forbidden to kill any person. Are you sure you want to do that to Explorer 6?" queried PeaBrain.
"I wasn't really going to do that, it is just an expression from where I come from. Any way, I'm sick and tired of Explorer 6, he is my roommate back home, and he is a nut. He and one of his friends made a story up called 'Sir Joshua the great.' Sir Joshua had this nickel that could kill anything, and also worked like a boomerang."
"Yodel-a-EU" shouted Explorer 6
"Is that the only thing you find annoying about Explorer 6?" PeaBrain wondered.
"He worked for Meleluca, a beauty care product company. They make things to put on the skin to make people look better then they do naturally. He always passes gas in public, and doesn't even say 'excuse me!' He also uses all of my olive oil with out asking." explained Explorer 52.
"What is olive oil?"
"It is an oil made out of olives. and he doesn't even have a traditional western family. His parents are both guys, he was adopted, and that is just UNNATURAL."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there are some confused people in my homeland, men making love to men, and women making love with women. The men making love to men, we call them Gay, and women making love with women are called lesbian."
"What the heck, how is that posible?"
Explorer 52, gave a short explianation how men and women reproduce, and how gays and lesbians make love with each other.
"Yuck! That is unnatural!" said PeaBrain in disguste.
"You better not tell any of the others what I have told you. They don't really care that much about your people, they would steal your women if they could, but it is currently forbiden. I have some homework for you, you are to ask Fred about Nova Wars."
"Why must I?"
"I will explain later." said Explorer 52 as he led PeaBrain back to the others. When PeaBrain and Explorer 52 returned PeaBrain started doing his homework he asked Fred "What is Nova Wars?"
"It is a movie I helped write. It takes place up in space, since I figure that you have no idea what space is I will explain. Above the sky there is a place called space, it consists of nothing but planets, which are worlds like this one, and you can travel between planets in special ships. Nova wars is about a war up in outer space, on planets far away from here. One of the ships is called The Cube..." Fred explained but was interupted by PeaBrain.
"What does that stand for?"
"Well, Bryon. It is a ships in the shape of a cube, a six sided solid object that all sides are squares."
"What is a square?"
"It is a shape that has four equal sides, and four right angles. It be a large metal object that cannot be damaged, easily. It has blue fire that escapes it for battle. There is also another ship called The VST."
"What does that stand for?"
"I love going on dates with your village men and women who are neither gay or lesbian," exclaimed Explorer 6
"The VST stands for V Shapped Transport." He holds up his hands to form a V. "In it, there are many small flying wariors. They run along the sides of the V and fly and fight." explained Fred, "I think it is time to move on. We have three more days before our ship leaves, and we are two days away. I want an extra day to show Bryon, around the ship so I can explain things to him. But bad words are forbidden here on out."
They traveled two more days and reached on of the Explorers Colonies. They walked by a church with a flying buttress. PeaBrain asked "What is that?" pointing to the buttress.
"Well, that is one of those flying butts. They are the foundation of the budist church." Explorer 52 said, looking over at Explorer 6. He always jokes about the budist church to anoy Explorer 6.
Explorer 6 got really mad, "I heard that. You are talking about the great budist church." He took Bryon aside. "Look, the budist church holds great truths. They have 'The Book of Mormon Bible Bash Book', that is a great book. The head of the church is the Wurms. They are the most great and knolagable intelegences of the universe. Join my church, and I will call you Elder Rogers. Or, maybe I will call you Elder Mueller. I dont know."
"Hey, Ronald Regan!" Shouted Explorer 23 to Explorer 6.
"What is it, Orson Scott Card?" He replied.
"We have a message from London, England."
"Ah, a message from home. Tell them that there are rumors of the New York City Missionaries. They want war, yes."
Elder Rogers looked over at Explorer 6 and 23, "What are you talking about, fuerline?"
"Woah," Said Explorer 6, "That is one long Dutch word.
Explorer 5 came over and took Bryon by the arms. "Do you remember me? We went to high school together. When we go over to Salt lake, it would be great to meet Pres. Young. Can I call you Pres. Carlisle?"
"Uh, sure." Said formerly known Bryon.
Explorer 5 was very happy with this. "Oh, I feel like Radar in MASH."
"The rumors of war are near." Shouted Explorer 6.
Bryon looked at Explorer 5, 6, and 23. He planed rebelion against them. He favored Explorer 52 alot. He understood him, for he was not crazy. "Hey, Ronald Regan! Leeds, England demands your brain."
Explorer 6 looks over, "No, it is mine!"
Bryon gave a quick belly dance to the Eagle God. "Oaha Moki Ango, aiee ando rufus meety so." Suddenly an Eagle Flew overhead. It was the Eagle God. "Yaso, mokini aso low." Car asked him. The Eagle God flew down by the way side and ate the three crazy explorers.
Eagle God said to him, "You remember me, you shall be blessed. Thank you one called Car. You are given the gift of strength and persistance. You need not dwell on the foods of the earth, for ye are imortal. Now, go, continue your journey so you too can become a god." The Eagle God then flew over head. An egg was made and dropped. Car was careful to catch it. The egg was a soft green the size of an automobile.
He walked over to Explorer 52. Explorer 52 said. "Wow, that was amazing. What happened over there? And what is that?"
"I called upon the Eagle God. And it gave me this practicaly small egg. I think it is called the Egg of Stupidity and Imortality, one and the same."
"That confuses me. For there is only one true god." Explorer 52 gave PeaBrain a final draft, also known as a copy, of the Book of Mormon.
All of a sudden Explorer 33 ran a distance to them. He shoulted, "War is nigh. They are re-assembling the Mormon Batalion. That egg is the enemy they are saying, they are saying, 'Gather thine tokens, to give to the Lord, so he will bless us with victory!' They say that egg is evil, they saw it fall from a great demond. We must do something, before they come after us. They will kill the protectors of the egg!"
"We need to get rid of this great evil," said 52 with a concerd look on his face, "If my fellow people are coming to destroy this egg, we must do as they do. How can we get rid of this egg, PeaBrain?"
"I don't know, maybe we should check the bulletin board." replied PeaBrain.
They walked to the bulletin board, which was a list of different types of bullets. They found a bullet that would destroy an egg. They took the bullet, and 52 loaded his gun with the bullet. They returned to the egg, 52 took aim and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.
"What are you doing, why haven't you fired your gun Explorer 52?" asked PeaBrain.
52 pulled the trigger five more times, "The gun won't work for me. You try it PeaBrain!"
PeaBrain took the gun, aimed the gun and pulled the trigger. The bullet flied towards the egg. Just as the bullet hit the egg, the egg shattered into five hundred flaming pieces.
"Wow! that was cool, I didn't know that would happen," exclaimed 52 "You are my hero! You saved our community from the evil egg."
All of a sudden a choir appeared singing "Kaki Lambe." The ashes of the egg, sarted gathering together. They formed into the great master of evil.
"Exploerer 6! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" exclaimed everyone in unision.
"Large booties, on sale now!" yelled a street vendor.
"Give me all your change! or I will bring back the Big Bang!" Exploerer 6 demanded as he hovered over to Explorer 33. Explorer 6 patted down 33's pants.
"What the heck is that guy doing with his pants?" asked PeaBrain.
All of a suden Explorer 33 changed into One hundred dollars, in quater and nickles. Explorer 6 picked up all the change, which took him only two seconds with his new found magical powers. He hovered his eay to the street vendor and said "I'll take a size 666!" The vendor pulled out a large pig, the pig said "I was lost and found am I. Thank you for freeing me master 6."
A croud gathered to see the sight. Nobody wanted to see a rebelion. A man on the street was holding a sign saying that said The End is Near. He said, "Why am I always right?" He turned and ran.
PeaBrain took the gun in his arms. He made sure it was fully loaded and said, "Death to 6, you peice of toad."
6 looked at everyone with evilish envy, "The rain in Spain, falls mainly in the plains. I shall kill you like I have Bro. Kempton and Sister Engstrom. They were old people."
The pig stood up on its front legs and turned around. "With the power invested by me, I shall make pigglets fly in the View." The pig turned around, exposing its rear end towards the croud. He became as a bazooka, shooting many evil pigglets into the croud. "Ha, take that!"
Some man named Wilber from England ran into the croud. "What is happening." All of a sudden one of the pigglets landed on Wilber. "What are you?" he asked.
"I am one of the youth of the large evil pig over there. I am ashamed that he is my father. I posses special powers that can be used for your good." Said the pigglet.
"Oh, you can? I shall call you ChaCha the pigglet of them all." Wilber and ChaCha joined Explorer 52 and PeaBrain. "We shall join you against the evil that will persue you."
---This story is a collaborate work, hence the randomness of some of these events. Warning: Praental Discrestion is Advisded.---
Pig tried to fire more pigglets but all that was hear was "tte tte tte tte tte te tte tte tte te t." "Darn it, I am out of sperm! I can't create anymore pigglets. How could this happen!"
Explorer 52 said "PeaBrain, you have a new name. From now on you will be called The Great Eggbreaker. For you are. Let us slay this evil pig."
"You think you can defeat me Explorer 52! Well, why don't you just climb up a large tree, and jump off. You will never defeat the great Piggunator!"
Eggbreaker looked the Piggunator straight in the eyes and said "You are none other that a pig. You will not kill us, we will kill you! Because I can sing with my with my voice and my tounge."
"Do you want some of my urine, Piglet," snarled Piggunator while urinating towards Eggbreaker. Eggbreaker dodge the urine stream, while to the left. "Eat food, you person! Cha-ching!" Piggunator said as he threw his snout at Eggbreaker.
"Does anyone have a writing untensile?" queried Eggbreaker while dodging the snount.
"I have a pen!" yelled an old man in the crowd watching.
"Throw it to me!" The old man trew the pen to Eggbreaker. Eggbreker yelled "Look over there, Piggunator, It's yo momma!"
"Where?" said Piggunator, looking to the right and left. Eggbreker stabed Piggunator in the heart with the pen.
Piggunator's last words were "WHY?" He took a couple of steps gasping for breath. He then added to his last words saying, "Oh, in the name of Sir Lancalot, you shall never forget me. For, I have left another. One of mine pigglets will live another life, that of evil. He shall be known as General Gewenavir." Pig fell to the ground and a pigglet popped out. It stood up and flexed its pecs.
"Check out these pecs man!" Said General Gewenavir. He then jumped in the air and never landed, for he could fly.
Eggbreker turned to 52 and said, "That old dog of your's is not present."
52 said, "I have never had a dog."
"Oh, well. I am sorry, dogs are good to have. They are especcially tasty, if you know waht I mean."
"Yes, I do. I had a friend back home, Sir Robinhood, who used to cook them a lot. He had a cutting knife that he favored. He even called it Excalabur."
"Have you ever had the Rainbow Dorkfish? It is most present in the southern rivers."
"No. I do believe that it is time to get on that ship of ours. It is over there." 52 pointed to a ship called Noah's Arch II. They hopped on board. There was a list to sign of passengers. While 52 signed the paper, Eggbreker was looking at the other names. Some of them were: Maid Marian, King John, King Richard (of Notingham), Bryon Todd Rogers Wanntabe, and Merlin. It was his time to sign the list. He had to think for a moment. "What was my name in the time that we first signed up for the boat?"
52 thought for a moment, "Uh, it was Bryon."
"Ok, thanks. I was thinking itwas like Joshua S. Mueller or something." So he signed as Bryon.
They went to a room. It was fairly large. There were a total of 26 bunk beds. They were surprised to see this, they expected something more like the titanic. The manager of the boat came on board and handed them their tickets. They said, one way trip.
"Oh, no! We have a one way ticket to Africa. What were we thinking. I told you you shouldnt have bought it on ebay." Eggbreker stated generously.
---It shall be known that they used to be in the americas. Oaha Moki Ango was a native american. They are on their way to Africa. How is that for genious?
While they were on board suffering sea sicknes a man came up to them. "I have some soup for you." He handed them a boul of something. They took a smell of it. It was foul.
"Ah, what is that stuff?" Asked Eggbreker.
"Have you ever been sea sick?" He pointed to the boul. They were discusted and threw the boul aside. "Sorry, that was a cruel joke. My name is, King Arthur. I am on my way to europe."
52 said, "Well, you might as well forget that. This ship is headed to Africa."
"What? This cant be. Oh, well, what do I care?"
"Who is that," Asked an old hairy woman. "They are fine."
"Oh, that is Mae Rogers Parker, divorced." Said King Arthur.
"I would sure like to meet her. My name is Maid Marian by the way. I am going to go over and meet that fair lass."
"What on earth is that old people thing doing with that chug of beer stuff," said ChaCha pointing to a group of old people. Everyone looked over at the group. The leader of that little group of old people was Josh Mueller, cousin of John Muier. Josh was telling a story while drinking a bottle of beer. "Bla and cough saw the big black bearded thing walking towards them it said 'CC, RR NN HH WW HH!' which means 'Let all men sing!' Bla asked cough 'Why cant you eat cheese and barf at the same time why don't you and do it now, please?' cough died right there, and so the thing ate Bla, and so ends the story." At this the old people laughed.
ChaCha asked "What is so funny?"
All of a suden the boat went out to sea. They traveled for about 5 days on the ocean, then a fog surounded the ship. Everyone wondered what was going on. Tweleve hours later, the fog lifted, reveal that they were locked in a huge lake. ChaCha climb down the side of the boat to taste the water. "It is salt water!"
"We must be in the great Salt Lake!" exclaimed 52. There was a slight fog/haze bluring the view.
Eggbreker walked over to the edge of the boat. He looked over the water, and surveyed the horizon. Something was different. "No, in cant be. We are in the dead sea." The fog/haze cleared. They were indeed in the Dead Sea.
"What are we going to? We are suposed to be in Africa." Said 52. "I guess it could be worse."
Noah's Ark II turned slowed down and landed on shore. They opened the door and put down the walkway to land. They started to walk down the ramp towards land when a group of people came to meet them, an older man and three others. Two of them looked to be twins. The older man came up to them first. Eggbreker was in the front of the line. The older man spoke, "I am Joshua Samuel Rogers, the leader of the Little Big Horn tribe. Does It takes a whole village to fill this ship?"
Eggbreker looked back at the people on the ark. He looked back at Joshua and said, "I am a child of a slave. My name is Bro. Kempton, and my Heavenly Father Loves Me. He loves you too."
"I know that. It is good to hear someone else say the same." Joshua turned around and shouted, "Kaki Lambe!" A man, from far away, came running over a hill from the East.
"I am coming, wait for me. I pass gas for you." Said the man.
The identical twin cousins looked at each other. They shook their heads, that man over there has mental problems, and they knew that. The man arived and walked up to Joshua. "I have arived. I have the choir music you wanted." He held up the music. They said: When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, My God Is a Rock, and I Need Thee Every hour.
Joshua was well pleased. "The choir music has come. I am sorry, this man here is my ride to Orem, Utah. He can run long distances. His name is Bryon Todd Mueller."
Bro. Kempton shook hands with Bryon, "It is good to meet you. You know, I used to be called Bryon, funny hu?" He hopped on Bryon's back. "Take me to Papa Murphy's Pizza." He began to run really fast. He looked behind him, he couldnt see the ark anymore. In fact, they were going so fast that the sand behind them was turning into glass. Suddenly they stopped. He looked infront of him. They were there, but it was closed. "Dang it, I hate it when that happens. How about Gandolfo's." He started to run even faster than before. When he stopped something was diferent. They went so fast that they went back in time. It was night time.
"Oh, on this Shining Night. Look at those stars." Said Bryon. He took out his Cell Phone. "Woah. How far back in time have we gone. I have no reception."
Bro. Kempton realized that there were no cell phone towers or any technology. He looked to his left and saw a temple. In the future they will be called The House of the Lord.
Bryon looked at Bro. Kempton and said, "You know, back in old times they had to go to mountains to talk to God. It is called the Mountain of the Lord."
"We need to set up a General Confrence Center to speak with the others," Said Bryon. They will know that something is up.
Bro. Kempton looked at Bryon and said, "I am tired of my name. Call me MeatBallHead."
"Ok, sounds great to me." He said.
---Sorry for the inconviniences we have made a printout so we can handwrite for a while. (Even though you wont be able to see it.)
"Did you ever see Star Wars?" Asked Bryon.
"No, nat all the way through." Replied MeatBallHead.
"What, seneces did you see?"
"I saw the senece in number four where that girl, being projected from R2-D2, saying 'its my only hope!"
"She never said that! She said 'you are my only hope,'"
"What was that old guy's name? The one that says, 'use the force.'"
"Oh! His name is Obi-Wn Kinobi. My favorite villian is Darth Vader, you know the guy that tells Luke, 'It is your destiny.'"
"The terminal is closed!"
"That isn't from Star Wars, that is from The Terminal."
"Do you know where we are?"
"I think we are in Utah!"
All of a sudden Explorer 6 appeared. "How did you find me! I feel like using polyghamy for my advantage. I will make an army of my selves!" Exclaimed 6.
"Why do you say that? Time is evident. Barnicle Head!" Said MeatBallHead while looking 6 in the eyes.
"I shall triple city size of th enearest city! For the time of redemytion is come. So stay calm cheese brain, and uncle whatever!" Retorted 6.
"The Gaflord the Falker child will stop you!" Yelled Bryon.
"Not this Fart, why don't you eat . . . eat cheese!" Exclaimed 6, as he cast a spell on Bryon, turning him into a mouse made of cheese.
"Only you would know the evil of Dairy, you evil swedish fish!" Yelled the cheese mouse.
"Oh, yes. I have a whole mountain of cheese, one farm to rule them all." Said 6 aloud.
MeatBallHead laughed, "It would not be called a farm. Ha! My mouse can run so fast that we don't need a time machine to get us out of here."
"Oh, like that would help you."
MeatBallHead looked at the mouse of cheese in secret, "Did you have your garlic bread this morning?" He asked.
The cheese mouse turned towards Explorer 6. He streatched and cleared his throught, as if preparing to be infront of an audience. He put his arms into the air and slowly began waving them. "With the power of the almighty garlic bread, when I say so you shall not have any reception an your cell phone. And so it is." He snapped his fingers.
Explorer 6 looked at his phone, "Dang it, you are right. That was just as unexpected as a semi-truck running me over."
"Speaking of reads, you shall never see the road signs ahead in your future. Kakatu!" He yelled, "I am the king of vehicles. I am the hybred of the SUV."
"What! No!"
"Yes, it is true. With my almighty powers I shall pronounce a change. You are no longer a director, but a producer."
Explorer 6 gave a high pitched scream. It shattered the glass trail near by. "Thats terrible in the movie business."
"Ha, I tricked you." Cheese mouse said.
"I'm not a producer?"
"No, you are a boom operator."
Explorer 6 gave a higher scream which borke the broken glass. And he blew up, never to exist again. For, he was a Wurm.
"Ha!" Cheese mouse said proudly. "Radio out!"
MeatBallHead and the mouse heard someone say, "She's a butte, isn't she! The only cheese mouse in the world." in a heavy Austrialian accent. They saw a man in a kahki shirt and shorts, standing in front of a camera man about 50 feet away.
Cheese mouse said, "Hey, I'm a he! Not a she! And who are you guys?"
"I am the great musical manimal conductor, Bro. Kempton," Said the man in the kahki shirt and shorts. "And I search the world for musical animals. This is my camera, Flatus, He has a little problem with flatulence. If you want to email us send it to kirnack.bryon@gmail.com. We are jolly about seeing you, mr. Cheese mouse. What is your name boy?" At the end of his statement he looked at MeatBallHead.
"My name is Batman!" Replied MeatBallHead.
"Holy kangaroos, not another name change!" Exclaimed cheese mouse at Batman's aka MeatBallHead's, answer. "Not like I would know. I haven't been in the story long enough."
Cheese mouse looked up at Batman and said, "Oh, by the power of bla bla washington bla bla Austriala and garlic, whatever." He touched Batman, and he turned into the true Batman.
Batman touched cheese mouse, he turned into what looked like Robin. "You need a name. Is Owasso, OK?"
"Sure," Said Owasso. He turned to Bro. Kempton and Flatus. "You need new names also. How about iPod for you," Pointing at Bro. Kempton. "And iTunes for you," He pointed at Flatus.
"Whatever, mate." Said iPod.
"Loose the accent, I hate Hyundai." Said Batman.
"We should go to the house of Montana." Said Owasso.
"No, I think that we should go to Venice, Italy. I have always wanted to go thehre," Replied Batman.
"I want to go to England, not Italy," Replied iTunes.
"How about, Africa, Austrailia, or Argentina?" Asked iPod in a southern American accent.
"I thought you were an Ausy!" Exclaimed Batman.
"Well, I'm actually from Luxemburg, Germany, but my agent said that the show would get better ratings if I had the Austrian accent!" Replied iPod.
"I think we should go to Cambodia." Exclaimed iTunes.
"How about Switzerland?" Asked iPod.
"Lets let, Owasso decide." Decided Batman, "Is that alright?"
Everyone noded.
"So, where to Owasso?" Asked Batman.
"To France!" Yelled Owasso.
"Not Paris, France!" Replied iPod. "You stupid gnat! Don't you know thats where Mae Rogers Parker used to live? There was a UFO that came down and hit an ink tree. This spooked the cows. The cows then ran around wild making a mirror fall off the wall. You know, they made the earth shake, dumb things! The mirror fell hitting a table. The table had a digital camera on it. There was a quill sitting on the edge of a chair. The handel was sticking out. The camera was hit off, and it perfectly hit the handel of the pen. The quill then went soaring through the air. When Mae heard the noise, she went to see what happened. Just then, the pen came flying through one ear and out the other. That's where the phrase comes from." Explained iPod.
"Ok, well that does it." Said Batman. "We are not going anywhere."
Owasso said, "Some say the quill still soars, looking for prey."
iTunes rose his hand. Batman chose him to talk. He said, "I've seen it. It's red."
"I love that story. I need to go to the bathroom!" said iPod as he did a potty dance, "Waring High Pressure urine, on the way!"
iPod ran to the nearest water closet. After five minutes, a loud toilet flush sounded, followed by the sound of running water.
"Do you have gas?" asked Batman
"Why would I?" Said iTunes.
"No, I was talking to iPod."
"Oh," Said iPod, "Not anymore. I left it in there." He pointed to the water closet.
Batman looked where iPod had pointed. "What are you talking about? Where did you find a water closet?"
"Well, isnt that a water closet."
They looked over and saw a statue of Explorer 6. It was in the toilet sitting position. They went over and looked at a small plaque. It stated, "Explorer 6 was a great addition to society. He had such great philosophies of the great existance. He planned revenge on several people he once knew, before he died that is. The last words that he would have spoken would be, 'Before I die, I want you to know something. I will come beyond the grave and kill, making you die. Death to iPod. Death to iTunes. Death to Owasso. And death to Batman. You will each join me in this vague existance. Good bye.' Explorer 6 died on March 11, 1865. His body lies in _______."
"Wow! What about that." Someone said.
The air became cold. Gravity then began to shift. iPod, iTunes, Owasso and Batman each turned around to see Explorer 6.
6 said, "Now whose first?"
THE END