Story #3 : the Sons of the Great Arignot Pain

The Sons of the Great Arignot Pain

by The Power Pointer Brothers

Grief and Misery were left to fend for themselves, they where only able to crawl when their parents became the Arignot Pain. They both had black hair, emerald green eyes, and a keen intellect. Even though they were only two years old, they could talk and do complex calculus. They were not strong enough to find food, so they crawled towards the east. They did this for two days until they came across a lonely mother Sandperson, who had recently lost her whole family to the rampage of a certain Jedi/Sith. She adopted them and raised them. Her name was Sandy. Many years passed as she nurtured and learned from them. She could never understand the language of calculus, which they spoke fluently. Three years passed and they were of the fighting age of the Sandperson, 5 years old. Sandy was so proud of the boys. They did have an odd affection one to another, but that did not worry her.

"Ok, boys, you are of fighting age. It is time for you to go to the land of Mordor and fight the hands of Justice with the dictators. There you will find the union of the Sandperson and the Arignot. That is the true lifestyle of perfection and happiness."

Grief and Misery knew how hard the journey would be. "Brother, we have to go and fight. I am worried." Grief said to Misery.

"Don't worry brother," Said Misery, "I will always be at thy side. We shall never part."

The two of them, in fear of separation, hugged and kissed each other. After a couple of minutes in each others arms, they broke. Each of them knew what the other must do. Grief left to the north towards Panama to fight and conquer the Arignot Rebellion Force. Misery left to the south towards China and the Passage of the Nile to arm wrestle with dual karate with the Nazis himself.

Misery's Adventure

Misery travel for four long days until the Passage of the Nile. There he found an old Rabi, a Catholic Preist, a Muslim, and a LDS Bishop playing an interesting board game.

Misery said, while he sat down next to the Rabi "Why are you fellow here?"

The Rabi answered while rolling a 100-side random number generator (aka a Die), "We are here to commune with one another, and talked about the meaning of life." The random number generator landed on 42, which was the color purple. The Rabi, Priest, Muslim, and Bishop all picked up cards from next to the board. Misery noticed that the board was four dimensional. It looked similar to the game Knights and Settlers of Catan. The Rabi added a little house on the board next to a hexagon that was completely white. Then the Rabi said "Josh Samuel Mueller! Persecution!"

"Why did you say that, Rabi?" asked Misery with a confused look on his face.

The Bishop rebutted "Bryon Todd Rogers! Priesthood!"

"What did that mean?" asked Misery with an even more confused look on his face.

The Priest rebutted "Mathew Thomas! Communion!"

"What in Hathor's name is going on!" exclaimed Misery with a baffled expression and tone.

The Muslim yelled "Mae Rogers Parker! Persecution!"

"What?" asked Misery with a frenzied look in his eyes.

The Rabi said "Josh Samuel Mueller! Persecution!"

"Why did you say that, Rabi?" asked Misery with a confused look on his face.

The Bishop rebutted "Bryon Todd Rogers! Priesthood!"

"What did that mean?" asked Misery with an even more confused look on his face.

The Priest rebutted "Mathew Thomas! Communion!"

"What in Hathor's name is going on!" exclaimed Misery with a baffled expression and tone.

The Muslim yelled "Mae Rogers Parker! Persecution!"

"Oh!" said Misery with brief contempt. "I understand this game." The random number generator said 93. "Ha, he picked up a stack of cards and took the Rabi's cards also."

"Oh, shoot!" Said the Rabi, "I guess I am out." He ran over and jumped into the Nile.

"Queen to C-9! Exalted!"

"Ahhh!" Said the group. "You beat us."

"Thus shall it be known, misery beat the Rabi, the Mormon, the Priest, and the Muslim. He shall increase one level. He is now on Level 2." The narrator shouted.

"Yes!" Shouted Misery. He then grew a foot taller, where he left West to China to find the all mighty Nazi army. There he will pronounce, "USA USA USA!" in a grand voice. He was so happy, that he sung his favorite song, "Hilter For Springtime." And he left the town of Urine Capsules, for that was its ancient name, ok not really ancient it was the name Misery chose to call it, traveling farther south until he reached the army of the Great Grandpa Nickles.

Misery approached the army yelling, "Take me to your leader!"

Old Grandpa Nickles came forward and said "I am the leader here. Well, the leader of the armies. The true leaders are the producers.''

"Who are the producers?" Misery asked.

"Why, you should know. You were born of one. The producers produce the armies, the kindsmen, you and I. One day I would like to marry one."

"Well, it would be better than marrying a Director. Ha!"

"Do you mock me? I am not Gay."

"Ok." Misery spoke to himself. "Apparently a producer is a woman, and a director is a man. I think I understand their language now."

He spoke aloud, "I geel like the great philosopher Rits Crakers."

"Oh, you strike my interest, Yamoshi." Misery gave him an odd look. "Well, that is your name isn't it?"

"My name is Great Grandpa Nickles, of the cannibal WWII veterans," he said and punctuated with a three finger salute.

"Don't eat me, I still have a mission to complete. I am Misery the son the the Great Pain, the Arignot of Pain, hence the name. They are the creator of all pain in this life," replied Misery.

"Well, then lets have a feast on this day. Oh what a lovely day of spring winter and pant sippers. Lets go and eat something together called joy and redrock," Grandpa Nickles said with a glint in his eye, "It is my favorite delicacy."

"Where do we find this dish?" said Misery as he followed Nickles to a ten "My new friend."

"Here in my tent. We are lucky today, we have caught a girl named Joy, and redrocks are easy to find," Great Grandpa Nickles said with smile on his face.

As they entered the tent, Misery saw a girl his age in a big pot over an open fire. Misery recognized her, she was one of the Daughters of Happiness. Misery was outraged, he said "By the power of the Great Miss. Doubtfire, I will join you." He jumped on in. While he sat there with Joy, they made children, 5 to be exact. They noticed several herbs in the pot: celibacy, eunuchs, and snippidy do-da. An hour later Old Grandpa Nickles and the rest of the army came for the feast. Misery and Joy and the five children were very tasty.

Grief's Adventure

Grief spent five days traveling north until he saw a sign that said "Inheritance being much." Grief had no clue what it meant so he walked on for another five day until he saw another sign that said "Mini scooter." He was still baffled, so he continued walking for another five days until he ran into a man with a large bucket head. The man said, "I'm the Great Mr. Doubtfire, I was killed by the drink, be weary the drink will kill thee."

Grief took him to Dairy Queen where he grabbed him in the bucket head. He said, "I used to do this to Bro. Kempton and Sis. Engstrom." He shut his eyes extremely tight. The man started to cry, he could tell it would be bad. When Grief's eyelids opened up, he had no eyes. He opened his mouth and there were no teeth or tongue. He pulled open his shirt to reveal his chest, and it was not there. In its place where two eyes, teeth, and a tongue. He then pulled out of his back pocket his six pack. The bucket head man looked at Grief's feet to see his chest.

"Aaaaaaaa! This is madness." He grabbed Grief's pants and putted them down. And the man blew up.

"Ha," Grief said, "I love doing that. He looked down and noticed something shocking. He was not a director (man) he was a producer (woman). He fainted. Three years later he woke up at his destination in Panama. He was happy to see that they had a Big Lots. He then found himself a director to marry, because he was really a she.

They found the local Holy She Bear Denominational Cathedral to get married. The entered it to find no-other than the spirits of Misery and Joy waiting for them.

Misery's spirit said "WOW! I never knew that you where a 'she,' Grief. I'm happy that you have found a companion for the rest of your life. I must go, our parents need my help. Oh! and they wanted me to tell you that Arignots are from and live in Canada. They also had some advise for you, apple is not an index but a quadrilateral."

Joy's spirit was eating great mounds of gello pudding, said, "Oh, I have some more advise for you that nobody else will tell you. You must marry both an director and a producer. For even you are confused about your sex and/or gender. You must go to the great and knowledgeable Roster of Gonads. There you will learn what a Gonad is, and why you need them. You will then eat the Gonad of Truth. I don't know why, but you need to do it anyway." She looked down at her gello, "Want some?" Soon after she disappeared.

Misery turned to her director and said, "Sorry, but I have to go. I cannot be married unless I have a director and a producer. I will go into the woodsen." The He/she went into the forest. He/she was in a much darkness and wonder of the forest. That is, she was lost. All of a sudden Little Red Riding Hood jumped down from a tree. "Yo man! What you doing? You are an odd person. Pull your pants back on man/woman."

"Are you the great rooster?"

"No, I am the representative of Springtime for Hitler and Germany. The great force of men/women. They are just like you."

"Take me to them, I wish to join other like me."

"I shall take you to the great and mystical pidgin rooster."

Little Red Riding hood walked into the woods with Grief following close behind. After five hours Little Red Riding hood stopped in her tracks, about faced and started glowing. As her body glowed brighter and brighter it caused Grief to see visions, He/She saw man slaughtering man, women producing man, you know the bla bla mamas boy. After the vision passed Little Red Riding hood was gone and he/she saw the great and mystical pidgin rooster standing in front of him/her.

The Great and Mystical Pidgin Rooster opened it beak and the words, "In the future Bryon Rogers will go to a great university. A university is a place of higher learning. Where you learn to tie your shoes. Well, at least that is how it went with Rogers. At this university he took several classes. These were: IS 140, University Choir, Mission Preparation, CS 165, American Heritage. Do you understand?"

"Well, yes," Said Grief, "But, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, there is a story about Josh Mueller. He was a friend to this Rogers."

"I don't care about that you giant turkey wanta be." Grief took the pidgin rooster by the neck and bit the head off. He then swallowed the body whole. "The time of the Volcanoes is at hand."

"I'm tired, I think I'll take a nap," Grief said with a yawn. He/She found a clear spot on the forest and layed down and took a nap. Grief had several dreams the first of which was of Josh Mueller, friend of Bryon Rogers, who co-authored a set of tales with Josh.

Josh was in his apartment number 22 of the sunset villa, in a town in Idaho. His roommate came in with the mail. Josh asked, "Anything for me?" His roommate looked through the mail and said "Ya, this big white letter from the church."

"From the church, it must be my mission call! I've got to go get Bryon." Josh said excitedly as he jumped off the couch and ran to apartment number 12. There he knocked on the door. Bryon answered the door and said "Hey, Josh! You look excited, why are you here?"

Josh replied in an joyous tone, "I got my call! Come over and I'll open it."

"WOW! I can't believe it, just let me hide my laptop," Bryon said as he hid his precious laptop in its usual place. He check to see if he had his key, which he did, then went out the door closing and locking it behind him.

When Josh and Bryon return to number 22, Josh open the envelope very slowly, like a poor child slowly savoring a piece of candy that they saved five months of allowance to buy. Josh read the letter and said, "I'm going to Guatemala City South, Ahh Guatemalan food! I will be speaking Spanish, my mission Pres. is Pres. Bobby Boy. I can't wait to tell my family."

As Josh went to the kitchen to get his cell phone, since he left it there last time he cooked, he saw his favorite apple and said "I'll miss you Mr. apple. You have given me understanding of the nations. You inspired me to do artwork with pez and stuff."

Bryon heard what Josh said and said "You have a lot of BS."

"What is BS?" Josh dumbly asked.

"BS stands for . . . Bachelors in Science."

"Do you want to be a squire?"

"No I'm already a knight."

At that very moment, Grief woke up and said, "I know where to find that apple. In Whales, or England, or uh." He suffered a major concussion all of a sudden, and forgot what he said. So he said, "Dublin, Ireland," He looked around at his surroundings. He was in Norway. "This is confusing, I thought I would be in Rexbig, Idaho or something," Suddenly there was a flash and he was in Scotland. "I need to make a layout of my life. My Mission is to save the princess. I need to go to a city called Magninium, of the Antarchinian Continent found in the South West hemisphere. There I will find my true calling of Brotherhood and Anathetics. And I will fight my indigestion to the end of time. And will pass gas proudly. That is also how I will win the princess's heart. And we will make babies. But, then I have to ask myself, is that possible. I am of the gender of Arignot. They are neither male or female. That way any population can survive. There is no business like Anarchy. Now I must go to the place that I previously have said." And so he left to Germany with his new friend Nazi Man.

"So what is your name, my new friend," asked Grief to his/her Nazi friend.

"Hello, my name is Aguanin, I am a fertile man of many terrors. I shall take you to Hungry, where we shall have a great delicacy, Hungarian fart soup," said Aguanin, with a smile on his face. "Hitler has been dead for three years, and I need a new leader, will you be mine?"

"I will, but you must live by this advice: iguanas are friends to many unkindly folk, except for me mine padawan," answered Grief with a wisdom far beyond his years, "Do you understand what I said, mine padawan?"

"No, I do not know what you said, but who is Yo mama, oh master?" answered Agnuanin, "I once had a sister, she had a huge amount of chest hair for a women. She went by the name Lolly Pop Lolly Pop."

"That was the name of my mother before she asended to the plane of the Arignots. You are my uncle not an iguana or a sloth. I will lead thee to the path of the Arignots, so you may join your sister, my mother."

"You must be my nephew/neice. I have heard of you, and followed Hitler here so I could find you and take care of you. I am your godfather."

"You think it but am not, I do as my nose allows. I need no godfather, for I have a quest to complete," said Grief with a mad glint in his eyes. "By the great power of Drake and Josh, rulers of the Land of Car Troubles and the Guardians of the Gate of Late, and with the knowledge of all things good and evil which each possess and do hold, and also by all means necessary on an beach house or by camp fire, I WILL NOT GO HUNGRY, I WILL NOT GO WITHOUT FOOD, WE SHALL UNITE WITH POWERS CONQUERABLE TO WONDERBOY."

"So, what do you want me to do with the necklace of womanhood?"

"Well, take it off, you dope! No wonder you sounded so gay."

"look, I will wed the along with your director, there we can find an producer for you also. I dont care how far we have to travel, I would like to be there with you, master."

Grief stopped in place, "You called me master." Grief then embraced Agnuanin, and kissed him on the cheak. "You shall be my brother/sister. Do you want to become an Arignot?"

"Whatever will keep us together, brother/sister."

"Males have there bodies completly organized, while females lack it. And the true biology is that of the male anatomy, or is it the woman? I forget. Do you understand?"

"Why, yes. But, when a man and a woman is together, they are made perfect and strong."

"Choose your gender."

"I want to be both, that way I can become perfect and strong. Is that possible?"

"Look at me, for I am both. Put that necklace of womanhood again. And take this."

"Like, what is it? It looks totally cool."

"It is the ring of manhood. Put it on quick, you are anoing this way."

Agnuanin put on the ring. There was a flash of light and he lifted three feet in the air. Light protruded through his skin. The matter within him was changing, he was becoming perfect form. Suddenly the light went out and he fell to the ground.

"Are you ok?" Grief asked.

"Yes," The pure one said. "My name is a better one. For I am Pure, the Arignot. You have saved me. I have been given the knowlege of the survival guide to war with Arignot Sith. He shall not stand for long. He is evil."

Pure stood up and his pants fell off. Grief told him, "Your anatomy has changed. You have different sized pants and so forth."

Pure looked down and said, "Whoa, those gentiles are huge!"

"Where are you going to put that thing?"

"What? These male hot dogs? I will eat them. I had better get rid of these pants, for there is nothing for me to do now with them. So, what gender am I then?"

"You are the gender of the Arignot. It is not specified. You are both producer and director, you have complete control. Now that I have you brother/sister, I need no producer or director, for I have both with you."

"This is an odd conversation, but . . . do you want to have the baby or should I?"

Then all of a sudden, an dark force of light came and made black around about. The earth began to break and something crawled out of the crack. The figure stood up and said, "I am Lord Sadam." There was a flash of lightning, followed by a failed boom. There was a sound that made one quake, everyone wonder what is was, but there was a smell.

"What was that?" asked Pure.
"I smell flatulence. Was that you?" said Grief to Pure, "That smells like a pig snout on christmas eve"
"No, but that smells good,"
"No, that was me," yelled Lord Sadam
"that was not an ordinary flatulence, something else came along with that one. It brings Evil beyond the end of the earth and it shall be known."
"Why have you come foul Lord Sadam?" Pure exlaimed.
"I have come to do evil on this earth until a sacrifice of gas and matter is made on the great marble alter of Toilet and gas," Lord Sadam laughed.
"I think I shall retire to the great marble alter of Toilet and gas," said Grief, "Isn't that great."
Grief left for the alter, he/she disapeared for five minutes. Then a great flushing sound arose from the ground, it opened and Lord Sadam was sucked down the hole. "NOOOO I DON'T WANT TO GOOOOO BACK TO THAT PLACE!" exclaimed Lord Sadam as he disaperead into the hole. The ground closed, and the light came back. Soon Grief returned to Pure and asked "Where is Lord Sadam?"
"He was flushed down to where he came from. Shall we return to your quest my brother/sister?" relpied Pure.
"Well, I want to talk to you of marriage and morality. Marriage is what bring us together today,Love . . . True Love binds these people together, and we are here to witness this event. What was that from?"
"Uh, Princess Bride?"
"Yes, you are good. Do you remember when they had to rhyme?"
"Yea. 'No more Rhyming and I mean it.' And then the big guy says, 'does anyone want a peanut?'"
"Ha! I love that movie."
Suddenly, a great and spacious building appeared and a judgment seat. The great man of the genetalia war sat on the judgement seat. "You have been called here on a matter of chastity and morality."
"But, it was meant to be." Pure said.
The man got up and ran behind the seat and dissapeared. A second man apeared above the seat and decented onto the seat. "I am the Penisgun. You are out of order."
"But, only if you understood who we are. If you knew our lifestyle."
The man dissapeared, a third man ran around from behind the seat. He sat on the judgement seat. "I am known as the Atom Bomb of judges. I call order."
"Listen to us," Said Grief. "We are Arignots. We have chosen to be together. We are both producer and director. We can be either. We could be gay or lesbian, but we are not."
"Then which are you? Producer or director?"
"We havent worked that out yet." Said Pure.
"Inconcivable. You shall be judged by the great and terrible Backstreet Boys."
"Noooooooooooooooooo! Why oh why?" Said Pure
"But that is good. I love those guys." Said Grief

Pure looked at Grief, "You are the producer then."

Four boys apeared at the seat. They looked down at them with harmony. And they sang, "You are Dread, of the dead. Should not be wed. Cha Cha. Also Private, of migrates that are of you! Cha Cha. Privates of the pirates that are migrates are you not Whom? We sing harmony, with our anatomy, that is true." They then spoke with one voice with thunder. "You are here by cast as The Dread Pirate Privates! Await your doom!"

All of the suden, the ground underneath them disapeared. They fell for about three days. During that time they had amny conversations, but only one was meaning full, and it went like this.
"Juggle stands fo fun," said Pure, "Your word is ROMIO."
"Juliet said to Romio
, 'Where is your gun?' Romio responded, 'Where it usally, is. Do you want to see it?' Juliet responded 'Do you want a wedding ring? I would love to see your gun, but it is not modest of me if we are not married.' Romio pulled a set of rings out of his pocket, and they ran for the nearest bedroom," replied Grief, "Your words are JUGULAR, FOOD, BUM ON THE STREET, and GAS."

"Ok . . . I walked up to a bum on the street and grabed him by the jugular and asked him 'What is your favorite food?' he said 'I like to eat gello pudding. And it gives me terible gas, do not under-estimate the power of my gas!"

That was the only important conversation, most of the others went a similar way, one would say a phrase the other would have to include that phrase into what they said next. When they finaly hit the ground they landed on a huge pile of unused toilet paper. As they landed Pure said "I just quoted you." When they got out of the pile of toilet paper, there were five strange figures infront of them

The center one said "My name is Everclean, cleaner than listerine, everybody wants to know, if you sing with us now. we sing songs sweeter than sugar tongs. "

Pure and Grief simolaneously said "Yes we will."

The song consisted sound unexplainable, and it went on for 12 hours. At the end Greif asked "What are you five things?"

"We are Arignots, the leaders of all of us.I like you, do you want to join me, Pure, and Grief as an Arignot?" said the center Arignot.

Pure and Grief huttled toghether to discuss this offer. Grief started, "I have no clue what to say."

Pure said, "We should stay as uno, you and I."

"I feel like a settler of catan, what about you?'

"Yea, we have to be careful for that robber. We have bumped into plenty of odd ones."

One of the other Arignots asked, "Do you have a dragon bone tooth brush? My teeth feel like boar hair."

"I think that answered our question," Pure said.

"Yea," said Grief. "WWII."

"Why did you say that?"

"Dont know."

"Dont forget, if we join them, we are going to have to be sharing our iCandy."

"Oh, yea. Lets hide it or something. I like my synthetic digital candy."

One of the Arignots said, "I just ordered the iPhone, the ultimate Cell Phone!"

"hey," Said Grief, "We could use--Steal that."

"Yea. I like your thinking. We should get married."

"But, am I the Producer or the director. We need to work that out still."

"Oh, Crapper. You are right."

One of the Arignots asked, "Which way is the Soviet Union?"

Pure and Grief looked at each other in query. All of sudden a squirrel appeared. All the Arignots in unison said, "Not Another Fred!"

The squirrel said "Yes I am Fred. I have come to warn you, Finals week is coming up soon, and I am failing many of my classes," as he faced Pure and Grief.

Pure said "Are you a beaver?"

"No, you are a smarty brouser with broun hair and stuff," retorted Fred in an annoyed tone "I am a Fred, one of the sacred squerrils of the land of Arignots."

"Why did you tel them that?" said the Arignot on the far left.

"Check your spelling you moron," screamed Fred.

"I did not miss-spell anything. And if I did how would you know?" replied the Arignot on the far left.

"You said that miss-spelled. I want to kill that Arignot, with the powers of Pure and Grief, we can together kill anything," yelled Fread as he jumped towards the Arignot on the far left.

"What on earth is that squerril doing?" asked Grief as Fred killed the Arignot, "I want to become just like him."

After Fred killed the Arignot, the rest of them disappeared. Leaving Fred, Pure, and Grief all alone. Fred said, "Do you hear what I hear, inside my head is a brain."

"What things do you like to do, my little woodland friend?" asked Pure.

"I like the woods," answered Fred, "Would you like to come with me?"

Pure looked at Grief, "This is going to be the Death of the Humans."

"What?" Grief said, "The squerill?"

"I think we ought to make this a dirty jobs. We should pretend to follow Fred. He is evil you know." Said Pure.

"I'm on it," Grief then said, "I will go and do as Fred commands, for I know that Fred will prepare a way for me to complete the task at hand."

Fred got an evil look on his face, "Good. Pain, leave us." He motioned Pain away. Some dark force made Pain fly away in a quickness that was unjust. "You must go and fight. I own the Timmy, a connection of computers that allows information to be passed from one to another in a blink of an eye. That is if you have broad band. If you have dial-up, you are much unfortunate."

Grief was hypnotized by the words of Fred. "Yes master. You are the new leader of Mythbusters, the ultimate force of the mythical creatures. I be only Dumb the Broad, your servant."

"Good, remember this, Death unto the unbelivers." These words penetrated Grief. There was no escaping this power. Grief was evil now. Nothing else could he do to save himself.

Pain could hear the harsh words being spoken by Fred. He could feel Griefs power leaving him. He was no longer an Arignot, he was only a Gnot now. "For, as now, Grief is lost. I will gather the forces of Cosby, and shall call together a Forum in New York City. Where ever that is."

He snapped his fingers and disappeared to New York. When he apeared he saw before the council Squidman, John Ritter, and Raven Semone. "Order, Order I say," Said John, "Everyone, this is not The Office. You are under my jurisdiction. The person we once knew as Grief the Arignot is lost. He is now only an Gnot. We need to use the power of birth control on him. He cannot reproduce. If he does, evil will be rampt on the earth."

"Cleavland Rocks!" Shouted the crowd.

"Yes, that is true." Said John.

"Grief," Said the evil Fred, "It is time to rename your name. Grief is such a sad name to you. You should be joyous with your name. Even when you over run the world with me, your name will be the name of the new world. But, the name as it is now, shall be changed. You shall become as my followers." He clicked his teeth together. One hundred doors appeared around him. He gave two more clicks, and the doors opened up. There was an immense noise of chattering surrounding him. "Your new name shall be, . . ."

Everything went quiet. Fred looked around at the open doors.

"Your name is FRED."

Just then, thousands of squerills ran through each open door. "Brothers, all of thee Fred. We shall conquer. Gather thine selves together. The moment of triump aproaches. Are you ready? We need to over-run the high council of the Arignots." He snapped his finder and a portal openned revealing the Arignot Council. There stood Pure along with the council. He looked down at the thousands of squerills.

"Close the portal." Shouted Pure, "Can anyone do that?"

"We cant." Said Raven, "Even if we were strong enough, the forces of Fred would still rule."

"There is something that we have to do. I know good is still inside Grief."

"He/she, is no longer Grief, He is a Fred." Said Squidman.

"Wait." Pure turned around and snapped his fingers three times, perfectly sincronized. The portal closed. "That bought us ten minutes. What shall we do?"

Fred looked over the thousands of Freds. "Freds, we need a plan. When you enter the council there will be a table. When you see lit candles on a table, you know that the dinner was cooked along time ago. This means that the will not be ready. They think we cannot reopen the portal. They dont know much. We will open the back-door-portal. They will not expect it. We will catch them off-guard. We will enter in ten minutes. Whos ready?"

The Freds yelled "Kddtheohdibckdidihqxwy!"

The Fred formaly known as Grief, said " To show them our power, take that shaving cream, that Dasani, the bookstore, the select skin care function, and the moblie auto."

From amoung the Freds, one came up to the Fred formaly known as Grief and refused to grab anything to fight with. Fred, formaly known as Grief, asked the rebellious Fred "Where is your membership kit, my brother? If you are not with us you are against us, and to that is say Energizer and I say Febreze!"

Rebllious Fred shakes his head and says, "Sayest thou a smart thing unto you, dont you have the cd track? And please don't cross me off your list of brothers, for I think you owe me $77.59 plus tax."

In respons Fred, formaly known as Grief, killed the rebllious Fred. At that same moment the door opened, and the freds charged into council chamber.

Squidman saw the Freds coming and said "Which Fred is that Fred?" pointing towards the Fred foramly known as Grief. The rest of the council, including Pure, faught the Freds. Squidman fights the head Fred, the one formaly known as Grief. Squidman had never lost a battle, and Fred knew this and said "You think it but am not unconquerable. I shall slay thee." and with on fell blow, Fred killed Squidman. The battle raged on until Pure and the Fred formaly known as Grief were the only ones left. Fred was badly injured and said "I'm not dead yet, so I will kill thee." Pure refused to kill Fred, so there were no survivors exceot Pure and Fred.

"Grief, I know you are inside Fred, come back to me my loved one. Return, and I will love thee until the end of time!" exclaimed Pure.

When Fred heard this his heart was softened, and said, "I will no longer be called Fred, for I am now and forever going to be Grief!"

The one newly known an Grief, previously a Fred, and a Grief before that, took hold to Pure's arm. "Phsyce!" He/she threw Pure through across the council room. Grief ran through the portal turned around and stopped. "By the way, I am The Almighty Fred now and forever." The portal closed never to be opened again.

Fred put his arms to his sides and pronounced, "I am the Keeper of the Multi-verse. Adva CaPurified Urineish!" Fred turned into a squerill and ran through one of the one hundred doors. These doors were portals to other relms and universes of the Multi-verse, which does not exist.

Pure got up and looked over at the wall that used to be the portal. He knew the portal would never open again. What would he do? "Ah, Undead Urinites! This bites. I dont know what to do?"

Suddenly a light broke the silence and two figures apeared. They were the King of the Arignots and the Queen of the Arignots. "Hello, Pure," They spoke in unison, "You are the chosen one. He anounce you the Ruler of Time and Space. For we know you were adopted. Your adoption Mummy was seen good in our eyes. With this power we give unto you, you can bend time and cure space. But, the portal will never open, as you well know. We cant help you anymore. Goodbye."

Pure went forward in time, and found that another great army of Freds had invaded and took over the land. Prue was captured by the Freds and taken to the leading council of Fred, each Fred was a different animal. He asked "Which of you used to be Grief? So that the Great Toshiba, my leader may know?"

"We know that you do not work for the Great Toshiba, He is dead. I killed him, myself," boasted the only squerril in the whole council, "You are smelly, and I don't know what I saw in you Pure, but I shall marry nobody!"

"NO!" yelled Pure.

"Yes!" said Fred

"WHY?" asked Pure in grief.

"Well, ever since I was in the Fred summer job programs, I made a promise that I would never share my world with anyone but those named Fred!" said Fred.

"I dont' ever remember you doing one of those bad things, what the incredible unquenciables have you done?" pleded Pure.

"Yes, last Thursday I turned the last human into a tree."

"Courious, what was his name?"

"Before I said 'You shall be known as Fred!' his name was George."

"What will you do with me then?"

"I shall make thee my leading general, Fred, the Human."

"THAT DOESN"T SOUND GOOD!"

"We shall rule all worlds with the armies of one thousand Freds we shall go out and fight!" said Fred, as pure changed to a purple Human with a tail, like a squerrils.

THE END